Hands Clean
by Hanniedee
Summary: Bella moves to forks to live with her dad, Chalie and half brother, Emmett. She befriends Rosalie and Alice immediately. When she hears a story about Alice's cousin, she can't help but be drawn to him. BxE AU/AH My first fanfic so please review!
1. Home

**AN: Hello all! Well this is my first fanfic. It's pretty bad but hopefully it will get better. Please review and let me know where you'd like to see this story go! I have a few ideas, but nothing's set in stone! **

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It had been one month since my moms funeral. One month since she'd lost control of the car. One month since my life changed forever. Was I ready for another big change? Was it too soon? Maybe, but that didn't matter. I needed to be with my family. That was the only way I could get past this. Of course I considered Phil my family and he'd been so great these past couple of weeks. But my relationship with him wasn't the relationship I needed right now. I needed my dad.

"Bella, I still want you in my life, you really are like a daughter to me. I know how much you hate forks! You don't have to do this, you could stay here with me." I felt bad for Phil. I knew he was going to be lonely. Me and my mom were all the family he had. Since my mom was gone, I was all he had and I was leaving. Maybe I was being selfish, but I think I deserved to be a little selfish right now.

"I'm sorry Phil. I really am going to miss you, but I need to be with my dad right now. It just feels like the right thing to do. I've already lost one parent, I couldn't stand it if I lost my dad too. Especially when I've spent so little time with him." A look of understanding spread across his face as he gave me one last hug.

"Call me when you get there and tell Charlie hello for me." I nodded and started walking towards the security checkpoint. Once through, I boarded the plane and stuck my ear buds in my ears. Drowning out the sounds of the airplane and the people around me.

I was awakened by a jostling thud as we landed in Port Angeles. I exited the plane and began scanning the small airport for a face I barely knew. Would I be able to recognize him? Would he recognize me? It had been three years… he couldn't look that much different could he? Just as panic started to set in I felt two burly arms wrap around my waist. I quickly turned around, "Emmett!" I nearly shouted, throwing my arms around my big (very big) half-brother. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Seattle this weekend, to visit your mom?"

"Nah, I canceled. I couldn't leave my baby sister to fend for herself her first weekend in Forks!" He said with booming laugh. This is why I loved my brother. He always put family first. I had missed him so much. When I went to live with my mom and Phil, leaving him behind was the hardest part. "It's a good thing I was here though. Dad got called in to work 5 minutes before he was supposed to come get you. If it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck here for God knows how long!" I should have figured. Charlie was always getting called into work. I couldn't blame him. He was Chief of police here in this God-forsaken town. It did make it hard to have any kind of a relationship with him though, but that's why I was here. To try at least.

Emmett and I walked out of the airport and climbed (literally) into his huge jeep. I called Phil in the car to let him know I'd made it and he mentioned again that I could come back any time I wanted. Poor Phil. Emmett talked the entire drive home. It was like we'd never been separated. Of course we'd talk on the phone and online while I was gone, but it wasn't the same as actually being here with him. I told him about school and friends. He asked about boyfriends but luckily there wasn't much to tell. Emmett could get a little protective when it came to me and boys.

When we pulled into the driveway I saw a rusty old truck parked on the street. "who's truck is that?" I asked as we began to pull my bags out of the jeep.

"Well, it was mine. I bought it from Billy Black when I was 15, right after you moved. You remember Billy right? He's got a son your age, Jacob."

"Yeah, I remember them." How could I forget. Jacob was the bane of my existence when I lived here. Constantly pinching me and pulling my hair. My mom had told me it was just because he liked me. I wasn't buying it.

"Well, I bought the jeep a couple of months ago, which means the truck is yours. If you want it." If I wanted it? Of course I wanted it! I gave Emmett a hug and thanked him profusely. We were lugging the few, but giant bags I had up the front steps when we heard a honk coming from behind us. A shiny red convertible pulled into the driveway and a ridiculously beautiful girl waved to us excitedly from the drivers seat. I knew it could only be one person. The person my brother had not shut up about for the past six months.

"Is that Rosalie?!" I whispered to him.

"Sure is." He replied, with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Rosalie ran over to us with a giant smile and grabbed one of the bags I was holding. While pulling me in for a hug. Emmett had told me how she was looking forward to meeting me. Apparently she didn't have too many girlfriends. I could see why. She was so beautiful it was intimidating. Just being in her presence made my confidence drop about ten points.

"Hi! I'm Rosalie! I'm so glad you're finally here Bella! I just know we're gonna be such good friends!" I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. She let go of me and we walked into the house. She shooed Emmett out of my room as soon as he had set my bags down and helped me unpack. She was very easy to get along with. I felt like I'd known her my whole life. Sure she was a little intimidating at first, but I couldn't believe this girl didn't have many friends. She was one of the sweetest people I'd ever met. We talked and unpacked for about an hour before she had to leave.

"So Bella," she said as Emmett and I walked her to the door, "My best friend Alice invited me to sleep over tomorrow night and I want you to come too!"

"Oh, I don't know Rosalie… I don't even know Alice and I don't want to intr-" Rosalie started speaking before I could get the words out.

"Nonsense! Alice will love you and the Cullen's are the nicest people I know. They won't care at all. Besides I already told Alice about you moving here and she can't wait to meet you. So I'll pick you up tomorrow around 7 ok?" How could I say no to that? I reluctantly agreed and left her and Emmett to say their goodbye's.

I decided to take a quick shower and get ready for bed. It had been a long day and the fluffy pillows and blankets were calling to me. Before I drifted off to sleep I heard a light knock on my door.

"Come in." I said, expecting Emmett, but to my surprise Charlie poked his head in the door. "Hey dad!" I said as I walked over to hug him.

"Hey Bells, it's so good to see you." He hugged me tight for a moment before letting me go. "I'm sorry about not being able to pick you up today, I got called in at the last minute…"

"I know, Emmett explained. It's okay." He nodded and an awkward silence settled in as he stared at the floor. I knew I should say something, but what? "Um, Rosalie invited me to a sleepover tomorrow night, I can go right?"

"Sure, sure! I'm glad to see you're already making friends." He said with a genuine smile on his face. "Rosalie's a real nice girl. So is that little friend of hers, Alice, I think her name is." Oh, so he already knew Alice? I guess this towns smaller than I thought.

"Yeah we're actually staying at Alice's. Apparently she really wants to meet me." I giggled. Charlie smiled.

"The Cullens are good people. Just keep an eye out for that boy they've got living with them." A stern look flashed across his face when he said this.

"Rosalie didn't mention any boy. Who is he?"

"I think he's Dr. Cullen's nephew. They took him in a few years ago when his parents died." _Poor Kid_ I thought to myself. "It really messed him up," Charlie continued "I don't know all the details, but he caused a bit of trouble when he first got here so I don't want you getting mixed up with him, alright?" Oh Charlie, always trying to protect me. Now I know where Emmett gets it.

"No worries dad, I'll stick with Rosalie and Alice the whole night. I promise." He nodded and walked off to his room. I laid down in my bed again thinking about Alice's cousin. _I wonder how he got into trouble_…_ and what did Charlie mean by 'it really messed him up'. _I snuggled up into my big bed I hadn't slept in for years. Today had been much easier than I thought it was going to be. To my shock and surprise, I already felt at home_. _

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_**AN: ****Edward will be in the next chapter!**

**Please review!  
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	2. Sleepover

**AN: Thanks to those of you who have added this troy to your Alerts and Favorites lists! It really mean a lot to me! And a big thanks to .destiny - my first reviewer! I really appreciate the kind words and I extended the sleepover bit because you said you were excited about it! That's how it works people! Tell me what you like and want to see happen and I'll try my best to incorporate it in the story! **

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Rosalie picked me up the next night at exactly 7 o'clock. I was more than a little nervous to be spending the night at a complete strangers house. I had never been extremely popular at my old school. I had one good friend, Angela, she was amazing and I missed her. Other than that, I was a bit of a social recluse. It wasn't something I liked about myself, so I knew I needed to make an effort. To at least try and make friends with these girls. I already felt like me and Rosalie were friends, hopefully it would be that easy with Alice.

We pulled up to a giant house buried deep in the woods. I couldn't help but gasp in shock as I took in the sight. The house was beautiful. A three story red brick house with a wrap around porch.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Rosalie asked as we made our way to the house. I just nodded, to stunned to speak. "Yeah, the Cullen's are probably the richest family in Forks." She could obviously see the worry in my eyes as she told me this and quickly tried to calm me down. "But you could never tell just by talking to them. They are so sweet and down to earth. Material things mean very little to them. A word of advice though, don't get between Alice and her clothes." She winked and smiled and I couldn't help but let out a giggle. If they're as nice as she says they are, then this shouldn't be too bad.

We walked up to the door and Rosalie walked in like she owned the place. The house was exquisite. The color scheme, the fresh flowers, the furniture, the grand piano, it was almost to much to take. I couldn't believe I'd be staying the night here. I felt very out of place in my dingy jeans and t-shirt combo and smelly converse to top it off. I was so distracted by the house itself I almost didn't notice the people sitting on the couch. A tall boy with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes, who looked a lot like Rosalie, was sitting on the couch. His arms were wrapped around a small pixie-like girl with black spiky hair. They both looked up and smiled at us as we entered. The small girl jumped up from the couch and skipped over to me.

"Hi Bella! I'm Alice!" She said, wrapping her arms around me. "I'm so glad you came! We're gonna have a blast."

"Um, yeah, thanks for inviting me. You have a really beautiful house." I sounded like a mumbling idiot but nobody seemed to notice. The tall boy stood up from the couch and made his way over to where we were gathered.

"I'm Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and Roses' brother." he said as he extended his hand. "It's really nice to meet you Bella."

"Uh, yeah, yeah you too Jasper." I smiled as I shook his hand.

"Well, I'll leave you ladies to it then. See you tomorrow." he said mostly to Alice and Rosalie as he walked out the door.

We headed up to Alice's room which was on the third floor so she gave me the grand tour on the way. She showed me the kitchen first and told me to help myself to anything in it. Then she showed me where all of the bathrooms were, there were so many I gave up counting half way through the second floor. We made it to the third floor and she showed me another guest room, the bathroom we'd be using and a linen closet where some extra blankets were in case I got cold during the night. As we finally headed into her room, I noticed a door at the end of the hall she had skipped.

"What about that room Alice?" It only took a moment to realize how rude I was being. She caught the look of horror on my face immediately.

"It's okay Bella, you're not being rude calm down" she giggled. I calmed down a bit but was still horrified at myself for being so nosey. "That's Edward's room. He's my cousin. He never comes out of it, so you probably won't see him." Ah, the mysterious cousin. I had almost forgotten about him. I had so many questions, but I had already been rude enough for one night. My questions would have to wait. I looked back at Alice and smiled. She smiled at me for a moment before her face became serious. "Just don't bother him, Bella, and he won't bother you." With that she turned and dragged me into her room.

I admit it. I hadn't had this much fun in years. Maybe in my whole life. We talked, watched movies, baked cookies, even gave each other manicures. It was just so girly. I really had never done anything like that before.

"So Bella," Alice began "tell us all about your love life!" I cringed. When I was talking to Emmett, my lack of a love life was a good thing, it was less awkward that way. With Alice and Rose, it was just embarrassing.

"Um… I had a boyfriend for a couple of weeks my freshman year." I stopped hoping that would be enough. It obviously wasn't as they smiled and nodded for me to continue. "But, he broke up with me when I refused to go down on him. I haven't even attempted dating someone since."

"What a dick!" Rosalie exclaimed, shaking her head.

"Well it's good you got out of that relationship early then. He was clearly only after one thing." She said, disgusted. I smiled and nodded in agreement. We sat in silence for a moment while I tried to push the memories of my only and very unsuccessful relationship out of my head. Alice placed her hand on my shoulder and I looked up at her.

"Don't be sad Bella. You'll find someone soon and they'll be perfect, I just know it." Yeah right! I thought to myself. I looked around trying to find some way to change the subject.

"So, it's my turn next. I'm thinking _Hot Pink_" I reached down and grabbed the ugliest shade of pink nail polish I'd ever seen and tossed it to Alice, who squealed with delight when she saw the color. The conversation started flowing after that and talk of relationships didn't come up again.

We talked and laughed until almost 3 am before we finally crashed on Alice's enormous bed. When I woke up I saw that it was still dark. Then I realized I was shivering. I looked at the clock, 4:30 am. I shivered again and looked down to see the blanket I had been under was missing. I looked next to me and saw Alice and Rosalie bundled up in it. I didn't want to wake them, but I was freezing. That's when I remembered the linen closet. I got up quietly trying not to wake anyone up and headed to the door stubbing my toe twice on the way. The closet was right next to the bathroom, opening the door as quietly as I could I grabbed the first blanket my hands touched. I turned to head back to Alice's room when I saw a sliver of light at the end of the hallway. Curiosity got the better of me when I saw where the light was coming from. Edward's door was open, just a few inches.

I started towards the door quietly, trying in vain to avoid the squeaky floorboards. As I got closer to the door I heard a beautiful melody coming out of the room. _Clair de lune,_ it was one of my favorites. I was surprised he was listening to it. Not many teenagers listen to classical music. I finally got close enough to take a peek inside the room. What I saw shocked me. He was sitting with his back to me, on a short stool in front of an electric key bored. He wasn't listening to Clair de lune… He was playing it. I watched in awe as his fingers moved gracefully up and down the keys. I could see the muscles in his arms flex through his thin gray t-shirt. As the song came to an end, he sat back and ran those glorious fingers through his tousled bronze hair. He brought his hands back down to begin a new song when I unthinkingly shifted my weight to my other foot. _Crap!_ I thought as the floor boards squeaked beneath me. He abruptly turned around to face the door. His eyes met mine then and I gasped as the beauty of his face hit me like a ton of bricks. He was _too_ beautiful. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity until he slowly, very slowly got up from his seat and started walking towards me. I needed to say something, apologize. When I realized I couldn't speak, I decided I needed to just walk away. When I realized I couldn't move, I panicked. But I never broke eye contact with him. He was standing right in front of me now. His green emotionless eyes staring into my own. I vaguely noticed his hand moving and resting on the door knob. He slowly started to push the door closed, holding my eyes until the door blocked my vision. Then it shut with a click.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and turned to go back to Alice's room. I curled up on Alice's bed with my blanket, trying to forget what just happened. I closed my eyes only to be met with the most stunning green eyes I'd ever seen. Those eyes, his eyes, were now permanently burned into my retinas.

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I awoke the next morning alone in Alice's huge bed. I stretched my arms out and my hand hit something laying next to me. I picked it up and saw a folded piece of paper with my name written on the outside of it.

_Bella,_

_We didn't want to wake you. Get dressed and meet us in the kitchen, we have A LOT to do today!_

_~Alice_

I didn't know exactly what Alice had planned for the day but considering the conversations we'd had last night… it probably involved shopping. I started to get dressed when I suddenly remembered what had happened last night. _Was Edward downstairs? Did he tell Alice about me? Does he hate me? Does he think I'm a freak for just staring at him like I did? _I couldn't go down there and face them. _Calm down Bella. Maybe he didn't say anything. You can't hide up here forever._ I continued getting dressed and slowly headed downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by an overly excited Alice.

"Morning Bella! Hurry up and eat breakfast, we've got so much to do and only a few hours to do it!" I took my seat at the table next to Rose and started on the stack of pancakes Alice set in front of me.

"Thanks Alice, these are great." She smiled as I wolfed down two of the four pancakes on my plate. "So what exactly are we doing today?"

"Shopping of course!" She was beaming at the very mention of the word. "School starts tomorrow and I want to make sure we all look our best."

"Good luck with that. I'm a mess when it comes to clothes and shopping."

"You have nothing to worry about Bella. I just happen to be an expert when it comes to clothes and shopping. Rose isn't too bad either." Alice gave Rose a little wink. She turned her head back to smile at me but something behind me caught her eye. Her expression turned to shock as she focused on whatever it was. "Good-Good morning Edward…" _Oh God._ I turned around to see Edward walk into the kitchen. Eyes fixed straight ahead not responding to Alice. Silence filled the kitchen as he made his way to the pantry and grabbed a breakfast bar. "I made pancakes if you want some. We have plenty." Again, no response as he made his way to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. He swiftly began to walk out of the kitchen but before he left he shot one glance in my direction. Our eyes met momentarily before he dropped them to the floor and continued out of the kitchen. I looked back at Alice, who was staring at Rose, who finally broke the awkward silence.

"In the 2 ½ years he's lived here, I've never seen him come down for breakfast. And I'm here for breakfast a lot."

"That's because in the 2 ½ years he's lived here, he hasn't come down for breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. Not once." Alice responded shock still present in her eyes.

"Wait, so he just doesn't eat?" I asked dumbly. I looked down at my plate before Alice's eyes could meet mine. _Keep your big fat nose out of this Bella!_ "Sorry, I should mind my own business." I mumbled.

"Bella, it's okay. You should here the story from me anyway. Lord knows what our fellow classmates will tell you about him tomorrow." I looked up at her and she smiled a sad smile. She took a deep breath and began her story. "Edward came to live with us a little over two years ago after his parents died." I nodded my head, I'd heard this part. She took another deep breath before she continued. "I don't know the whole story, no one really does, but the evidence suggests that Edwards father killed his mother than turned the gun on himself. Edward saw the whole thing." Tears welled up in my eyes. How anyone could live through something so terrible was beyond me. "Edward came to our house that night. We had always been really close, kind of like best friends I guess. But when he walked through the door, he wasn't my cousin anymore. That Edward was gone. I tried to hug him and comfort him but he pushed me away and went up to his room. He Didn't come out for three days. When he finally did start coming out he would only do it at night, when he knew we were all asleep. When he went back to school, he didn't speak to any of his friends and as soon as he'd get home he'd lock himself in his room. And that's how it's been ever since. Only coming down in the middle of the night to eat and only talking when he absolutely has to. I can count how many times he's spoken to me since he's been here on one hand." Alice broke down after that and started crying hysterically. I felt so guilty for bringing it up. _Why am I such a loser! Ugh!_

"Alice, Alice, I'm so sorry!" I said running to her side and hugging her to me. "I shouldn't have said anything, I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut!"

"No, Bella, believe it or not I'm actually happy right now" she said still sobbing. I shot her a questioning look and she managed to laugh a bit through the tears. "I'm just so happy he came down here. Sure he still looked sad and he didn't talk to me, but something was different about him. I just wish I knew what caused it."

She managed to pull herself together and Rose and I helped her clean the kitchen. We were headed out the door when Alice stopped me, a serious look on her face. "I meant what I said before Bella, kids are going to talk tomorrow at school. Especially after they see you hanging out with me. Don't believe anything they say about Edward. I've told you everything we know about that night and the rest is just lies." I nodded in agreement and we made our way to the car. Who would be so mean to make up lies about something so horrible. Would people really talk that badly about poor Edward? I knew one thing, I would definitely put a stop to it if they did.

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**Please review! I'm hoping to get a chapter out everyday or every other day and reviews inspire me to write faster! **


	3. Bully

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all of the characters!**

**So this is the last of the chapters that I had pre-written. From here on out I don't know exactly what will happen. I have a basic plot line that I'm sticking too, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. Thanks again to all of you who are adding this story to your alerts and Favorites list! It makes me want to keep going! **

**A Special thanks to 'kaz' who reviewed the last chapter. Your comments were in no way offensive! That's the exact kind of review I'm looking for. You bring up really good points! I so want to rush into them just falling and love and being happy again. But I'm trying very hard to take it slow and let the story develop on it's own. We will be seeing more of Bella's issues and flaws as the story continues, so be on the lookout. I will tell you that in this story Bella avoids anything that makes her uncomfortable even her own thoughts. She just pushes her bad memories and feelings to the back of her mind and tries her hardest to forget. That is hinted at a couple of times in this chapter so pay attention! ; ) ENJOY! And please review! They really help me!  
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Monday morning came all to quickly. I rolled over in my bed to hit the snooze button for the third time. The weekend had been great. Shopping with Rose and Alice was actually fun. Alice picked out what she called 'the perfect first day of school outfit' for me and insisted on paying for it. I tried to object, but in the end it was no use. I didn't see Edward again when we went back to Alice's place. Though I found myself constantly looking up the stairs to see if he'd come down them again.

The thought of Edward finally got me out of bed when I realized the sooner I got to school the sooner I could see his angelic face. Alice and Edward were in my grade, so hopefully I'd have a few classes with them. Rosalie and Jasper were seniors like Emmett, so I most likely wouldn't see them at all except for lunch. When Alice told me the whole school had lunch the same period I was shocked. Apparently the school was even smaller than I thought. But I was glad I'd get to sit with my brother and my friends at the same time. I had just finished pulling my hair into a pony tail when Emmett burst through my bedroom door.

"GEEZ! Knock Much?!"

"No time for knocking sis, we are gonna be so late! Come on lets go! Now!" Emmett had always been grumpy in the morning, I guess some things never change. I grabbed my back pack and stumbled down the stairs behind him.

"So are you nervous? New school, new kids, it's got to be nerve-racking."

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me." I had been so lost in my thoughts of Edward, I'd managed to forget about all of the other stuff. Until now. We pulled into the school and parked in between Roses' convertible and a shiny silver Volvo. They were the nicest cars in the lot. I practically fell out of the jeep into Rose and Alice's waiting arms. Once my feet were firmly on the ground, they each took an arm and guided me towards the school. They were way too chipper for this early hour. I looked behind me and saw Emmett and Jasper talking and tossing a football back and forth as they followed us into the school. A few feet behind them, Edward was walking slowly towards the building. Eyes on the ground below him.

I got my schedule and compared it with Alice's, we had two classes together: Trigonometry and Gym. My two worst subjects. I didn't get the point of either. Since I was a new student I had a meeting with the guidance counselor that excused me from homeroom. Alice left for her class while I waited in the office. That's when I saw Edward outside the office window. He was juggling a stack of big books and pulling at a piece of paper wedged between them. A blonde boy who looked about our age started walking up to him, it looked like he was going to help him out. But as soon as he reached Edward, he simply bumped into him causing all of his books to fall to the ground and continued walking. The expression on Edwards face stayed the same as he bent down and collected his books. He faced the window as he stood and our eyes met for the third time. His face turned a bright red as he stared unblinking into my eyes. I was about to get up so I could say something to him, but just then the receptionist called my name. I looked up at her, annoyed.

"Ms. Swan, I'm afraid Mrs. French-Cole won't be here today. She called to tell me she'd meet with you tomorrow during 1st period. Here's a tardy slip and a note. Just give them to you teacher when you get to class."

I thanked her and headed out the door. Edward was long gone by now. I walked through the halls not even caring if I was going in the right direction and thought about Edward. How could that guy be so mean. What could Edward have done to be treated that way. I finally made it to my class with only five minutes until the next period. Most of the morning passed in a blur and I was anxious to get to lunch. The bell rang and I gathered my books and exited my English class. As I walked out the door I saw Edward across the hall from me putting some books into his locker. My feet started moving before I could fully comprehend what I was doing. I was standing directly behind him now and I couldn't think of anything to say. So I just said his name.

"Edward?"

He spun around fast and pressed his back into the lockers. His eyes were wide and his lips were turned down into a frown. Was he afraid?

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, to startle you." His eyes calmed down a little but he was still stiff against the lockers. What do I do now? "Um… I, I wanted to apologize for the other night. I should have minded my own business. I just, I heard what you were playing and it reminded me of my mom…" Did I just say that? I hadn't talked about my mom in weeks. I had barely even thought about her, it was too painful. But here I was rambling on to a guy that had never spoken to me and probably hates me. I waited for a moment to see if he'd respond, when I figured out he wasn't going to, I tried something else. "So, um do you want to walk to lunch wit me?" _Could I be a bigger freak? _He Didn't respond at first, but after a couple of seconds he reached into his locker and grabbed his lunch. _Was that a yes?_ I assumed it was since he started walking when I did. We didn't talk on the way to the caf. We both just stared at the floor in silence. An oddly comfortable silence.

We walked through the doors of the cafeteria and I spotted our group immediately, everyone was already there. I sat down in one of the only two chairs left, next to Alice. I noticed Edward hesitate for a long moment, so I looked up at him and gave him an encouraging smile. His expression didn't change but I noticed his cheeks turning pink as he took the seat next to me. I turned around to say something to Alice but stopped when I saw the expression on her face. She was shocked, in fact as I looked around the whole table was shocked. I didn't understand at first, but then it hit me. Edward must never sit with them. I didn't think about that when I'd asked him. God, he probably hates me even more now. Pressuring him to do something he didn't want to do, how big of a jerk could I be? The awkward silence at the table became unbearable when I realized it was my fault. I tried to think of something I could say or do to make this better, but nothing came to me. That's when Alice finally composed herself.

"So Bella, how's your first day going?" _Thank you Alice! _

"It's been pretty good. All of the teachers seem nice, none of them have made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself so that's a good thing." Conversations slowly started back up and the rest of lunch went smoothly. No one tried to talk to Edward and I had a feeling he liked it that way. As everyone started to gather there stuff to leave, Alice suddenly turned to Edward.

"What's your next class Edward?" He stared at her blankly for a moment before pulling his schedule out of his pocket and tossing it to her.

"Biology, ugh, I hate biology. I had it last period." He just stared at her with those gorgeous green eyes. "Does anyone else have biology this period?"

"Um, yeah, I do." I spoke up. _Should I ask him to walk with me again? _I was about to say something when Alice saved me the trouble.

"Good, you guys can walk together. See you in gym Bella!" She said as her and the rest of our group walked off, leaving Edward and I staring awkwardly at the floor again.

I started walking and he followed again. I was racking my brain trying to come up with something to say. Not that it would matter if I did, because he obviously wouldn't respond. We walked for a few more seconds before the silence became too much. "So, Biology…" _What the crap was that? _Even someone who did talk couldn't come up with a response to that. I quickly tried to fix the situation. "What I mean is, I like biology. Alice said she didn't, but I do. I think it's cool." _Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up! _We walked in silence the rest of the way to class. When we reached the door I stopped and looked up at him. "Thanks for walking with me." He met my eyes then and something was different. There was a light in them I hadn't seen before. He took a deep breath. _Is he going to say something?_ I waited, but then he dropped his eyes and walked into the class. I walked up to the teacher.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan, I-"

"Ah, yes Ms. Swan" he interrupted "So nice to finally meet you! Your father is a good friend of mine. I'm Mr. Molina." he took my 'new student' form and signed it, then turned to speak to me again in a much quieter voice. "I had originally paired you with Mr. Cullen for this class. But I have it on good authority that he functions much better when he works alone. So, your partner for this class will be Mr. Newton. Ah! Here he is now!" I turned to look at the blond boy who had just entered the room. I almost threw up my lunch when I saw it was the same boy who had shoved Edward earlier that morning. "Mr. Newton, This is Ms. Swan. She'll be you partner this year."

He came over and stood in front of me, putting his hands on the desk behind me forcing me to scoot further back against the desk.

"Hey there…" he breathed into my face. This guy was a scumbag. "I'm Mike." He proclaimed as he extended his hand.

"Bella" I said as I managed push him out of my way. I sat at my table which was directly behind Edwards and Mike took the seat next to me. I noticed a small piece of paper on the table in front of me, I picked it up and flipped it over. There were four words in an elegant scrawl. It wasn't signed, but I knew exactly who it was from.

_-I like biology too._

I couldn't contain my smile as I stuck the note in my pocket. The teacher started going over our lesson plan for the year. This is how most of the classes had gone today. Lesson plans and expectations of the students and teachers. After 15 minutes he told us to talk amongst ourselves for the rest of the period. He picked up a book and leaned back in his chair.

"Are you enjoying Forks Bella?" Mike asked in a disgustingly smooth voice. Who did this kid think he was?

"Mhmm"

"It's a pretty boring town. If you're ever looking for a good time, just give me a call." I noticed Edward stiffen and shift in his seat. Looks like he hates this guy as much as I do.

"Whatever." I replied coldly. I didn't want to hear any more of his crap.

"Aww come on Bella, don't be that way. I'm just trying to be friendly." He lifted his hand and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I winced when he touched me. It reminded me too much of another touch. "There's a lot of guys at this school, Bella. Have any of them caught your eye?" Without even thinking about it, I shifted my eyes to the only boy who'd caught my eye in years. The only boy I wanted my eyes to see. Mike followed my gaze and scoffed.

"Hey Edward, looks like you got yourself a girlfriend!" Blood boiled in my veins and pooled in my cheeks. I've never wanted to hit someone so badly in my life. Tears formed in my eyes and threatened to spill over the lids. Edward sat more still than humanly possible. There's no way he was breathing. "Should you tell her Cullen? Or do you want me to?" He waited a moment for him to respond when we all three knew he wouldn't. "Oh right, you don't talk anymore. I almost forgot. Well then allow me. Bella, Cullen is a faggot. He doesn't like girls never has, never will. Not to mention he's a psychopath." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wanted to escape, escape with Edward who now seemed to be trembling in his seat. "Haven't you heard? Cullen here killed his parents." I couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut up Mike! You and I both know that isn't true." I stared at my desk unable to make eye contact with the disgusting pig next to me. He was silent for a few moments before he started digging into his backpack. He pulled out an empty plastic sandwich bag and blew a lungful of air into it. He twisted the open end of the bag trapping the air inside. He nudged me and mouthed the words '_watch this'_. He leaned forward a bit putting the bag directly behind Edwards ear. Before I could warn him, Mike slapped the bag effectively popping it with a loud _bang_.

In less than a second Edward was out of his seat and under his desk. Cradling his legs, his head hanging between his arms. The whole class erupted in laughter. I was mortified. Mr. Molina glanced up from his book.

"Mr. Cullen, please return to your seat." He looked back down at the book in front of him. Not caring at all why Edward was hyperventilating under his desk. I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward. I wanted to go to him and hold him and tell him it was all ok, but I was frozen in my seat. His head slowly started to rise and he looked over in my direction. I gave him the most apologetic look I could as I watched the tears roll down his face. He got up slowly while the class still quietly snickered. He picked his books up off the table and walked out of the classroom. Mr. Molina didn't even notice. Mike was still chuckling next to me but stopped when he saw me getting up. I picked up my books and set them on Edwards table. Then looked at Mike straight in the eye.

"Don't ever speak to me again." I said as coldly as I could. He looked stunned at first. Then proceeded to shrug his shoulders and roll his eyes.

"Whatever, you're not worth it anyway. _Freak_."

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**Again, please review! I'm not sure when I'll be posting again. Hopefully tomorrow night or the next. I need to figure out which path I'm going to take with this story. If you have any ideas, don't be afraid to share! I will credit you and everything!**


	4. Bella Swan

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**AN: Wow, this chapter took me for-freaking-ever! I had originally started it in Bella's POV, this whole story was supposed to be BPOV, but it just wasn't flowing right. So i finally just stopped pushing myself to write something i didn't want to write and that's when i realized Edward had a lot to say about what's happened so far. I don't know if I'll do any more in Edwards POV, but I never say never! BPOV will be back next chapter and will cover a longer period of time, so we can get this story rollin! haha... another AN at the bottom, please take a second to read it!  
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EPOV**

**I was met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes every time I closed mine. Eyes that seemed to bore straight into my soul. Bella Swan was all I could think about. I wasn't much different from anyone else in that fact, it seemed Bella Swan was all anyone could think about. Alice and Rosalie had not shut up about her since Rosalie's boyfriend Emmett had told them she was moving here. Their plan was to get her over to the house before school started, before anyone could warn her to stay away from them. To stay away from me.**

**I was the reason Alice lost all of her friends when I first moved here from Port Angeles. She stood up for me when the rumors started. She sacrificed her friendships, social status, everything… and I couldn't even bring myself to say thank you_. __I'm such a dick_. I was more grateful to Rosalie than she'd ever know. She stuck around and in turn, lost all of her friends as well. Now the two of them were inseparable. They deserved a new friend and I told myself to stay as far away from the new girl as possible, to give Alice and Rose a chance.**

**But nothing prepared me for the first time I saw her. Standing in my doorway, embarrassed that she'd been caught spying on me, she blushed the most beautiful shade of pink. A pink that turned bright red as I walked towards her. I wanted nothing more than to whisk her into my room, lock the door and keep her there forever. Then I remembered 'The Plan', I needed to stay away from her. When I finally reached her, I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed the door. Then proceeded to stand there for nearly an hour, even though I heard her walk away immediately. When I finally pulled myself away from the door, I laid on my bed and pictured those brown eyes until the sun came up. I had to see her again, but I was supposed to be staying away from her. I eventually talked myself into 'getting some breakfast' and made my way downstairs. I couldn't help it if I ran into her down there. _I mean, I do live here_. I could hear them in the kitchen when I got to the bottom of the stairs. I made my way around the corner and immediately met the eyes of my cousin who was smiling and laughing with Bella and Rosalie. Her face froze when she saw me standing there, I froze too. I forgot I hadn't come downstairs for a meal since I moved in. Did she know it was because of Bella? I averted my eyes to the pantry behind her and walked into the kitchen.**

**"Good-Good morning Edward." Bella immediately turned at Alice's greeting and looked at me. Was she anxious to see me again too? _Don't get your hopes up Edward _I said to myself, as I grabbed something from the pantry and made my way to the fridge for some water. "I made pancakes if you want some. We have plenty." Alice tried again. I just grabbed a water bottle and started out of the kitchen. But I couldn't leave without seeing her face, it was impossible. I shot a quick glance in her direction and caught her eyes with mine for one glorious second before I cast them down to the floor and made my way back upstairs. _She was so beautiful._ How was I supposed to stay away from the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen? **

**I kept replaying the scene over and over in my head as I roamed the school hallways and made my way to the office. There was a problem with my schedule, they put me in gym last period. Everyone knows I don't take gym. Me in the locker room, with 20 guys who hate my guts and no teachers? They learned their lesson my first week here and gave me an extra study hall instead. I wasn't paying any attention as I turned down the hall where the office was located. I was trying to pull my schedule from in between three large books I had just gotten from the library when I heard that evil chuckle. _Shit, Mike. _I stopped right in front of the glass office window, he wouldn't try anything to horrible with teachers so close, right? I looked straight ahead as he made his way towards me. Luckily, all he did was knock the books out of my hands, he was getting less creative these days. I bent down to pick up my books and glanced in the office as I stood up. Then I saw those eyes, her eyes. Bella was seated in the office, probably waiting for our flighty guidance counselor to show up. She had seen what Mike had done and she'd seen me take it like a pussy. _Damn it! _For a moment, I debated letting the beast out of it's cage. Letting it drag Mike back here and beat the shit out of him right in front of her… but I couldn't.**

**She opened her mouth and moved to stand up. _Is she going to talk to me? _Just as she got to her feet she whipped her head around, breaking our eye contact and walked to the desk. I took that moment to escape, I'd deal with my schedule later. I'd rather go to gym than be humiliated in front of her again. I got to homeroom just as the bell rang and took the only seat left, in the front row… _great_. At first I tried to dodge the spitballs and other objects my peers threw at me, but it just wasn't worth it. The morning passed by all to slowly. I was tripped a few times in the halls and my books were knocked out of my hands more times than I could count. Finally lunch came and I couldn't wait to get out to my car and have 45 minutes of peace. I was putting some books in my locker when a I heard an unfamiliar voice call my name.**

**"Edward?" _Who wants to torture me now? _I spun around prepared to take anything they gave me. _Bella?__Why would she want to talk to me? Oh God, does she know?_ "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, to startle you." She said a little shocked, I realized my expression must have been panicked. I tried to relax a bit, but it probably didn't help. She composed herself and began to speak again. "Um… I, I wanted to apologize for the other night. I should have minded my own business. I just, I heard what you were playing and it reminded me of my mom…" She paused and a pained expression contorted her beautiful features. Was she really apologizing? I was the one who was rude! I closed the door on her! _Just say something Edward! _But nothing came out. She shook her head and cleared her throat before she spoke again. "So, um do you want to walk to lunch with me?" _God yes! _I would follow this woman anywhere! _Wait… maybe it's a trick. I walk into the caf with her when she starts yelling at me to stop following her, calls me a psycho stalker and throws a tray of food in my face. _It's happened before, but at this point, I could care less what she had planned for me. I would follow her to an electric chair with my name on it, if it meant I got to spend time with her. So I grabbed my lunch and when she began walking I followed her. **

**She didn't talk and of course I didn't talk, but for the first time in years, I almost felt like I wanted to. I tensed as we entered the caf and Bella paused. _Here it comes,_ I thought to myself. Surprisingly enough, she continued walking… straight toward my cousins table. I hadn't thought about where she'd be sitting, but it made perfect sense that she'd sit with the only group of people she knew. I followed her to the table and froze when she sat down in one of the two empty chairs. I glanced around the table and met the eyes of Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice all staring at me with wide eyes and gaping mouths. _I can't do this._ I was about to walk away when Bella turned her head and smiled up at me. I hadn't seen her smile before and I swear my heart almost exploded when she did. I felt heat rush to my face so I looked down in an attempt to hide it as I took my seat. **

**An awkward silence came over the table. After a few seconds, I felt Bella tense beside me while her breathing picked up. I looked at her from the corner of my eye and noticed she was again, beat red. She must have realized this was a mistake, she had assumed these people wanted me here and was embarrassed when she realized they didn't. I hung my head in shame, debating between running for the door at full speed or calmly excusing myself. I looked up at Alice, thinking her expression would make my decision, when to my surprise, she smiled at me. I quickly hung my head again, trying to figure out what that meant. Alice finally broke the silence.**

**"So Bella, how's your first day going?" Bella relaxed immediately and I have to say, I did too.**

**"It's been pretty good. All of the teachers seem nice. None of them have made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself so that's a good thing." So she was shy? It must have taken a lot of courage for her to come up and talk to me in the hallway. _I should have said something to her, to let her know I appreciated the gesture. I'm such a douche! _**

**Lunch was less awkward after that. Conversations picked back up, none of witch involved me. I was extremely grateful for that. We were gathering our stuff to leave when Alice perked up and spoke to me.**

**"What's your next class Edward?" I stared at her for a long moment wondering why on earth she cared. Eventually I dug my schedule out of my pocket and tossed it to her.**

**"Biology, ugh, I hate biology. I had it last period." _And? _I wanted to ask. She knew how much I hated being in the spotlight. Why was she doing this? "Does anyone else have biology this period?" I could feel my eyes bulging out of my head, was she trying to include me into her group? Not that I didn't appreciate her efforts, but I was a lost cause and they all knew it. I hadn't noticed Bella's head shoot up reflexively when she asked the question and was surprised when she started speaking.**

**"Um, yeah, I do." Bella said hesitantly.**

**"Good, you guys can walk together. See you in gym Bella!" And with that Alice and her posy were gone. We were left, in an awkward silence, staring at the floor. Eventually Bella began walking so I followed. I glanced at her while we made our way down the hall, she looked like she was deep in thought. _What are you thinking about? _I wanted to ask, but nothing came out. We were turning down the hall to the Biology lab when she finally spoke.**

**"So, Biology…" I felt the corner of my mouth twitch upward at her attempt to make conversation. That's the closest I'd been to a smile since _it_** **happened. "What I mean is, I like biology. Alice said she didn't, but I do. I think it's cool." She was bright red again, obviously embarrassed by the topic of conversation she'd chosen. She didn't need to be, biology was the only reason I put up with school. I liked it too. I should tell her that… right now…_say it!_ When we reached the door to the classroom, Bella paused and looked up at me. "Thanks for walking with me." _Come on Edward, just four little words: I like biology too._ Determined to get the words out I lifted my head and met her gaze. My confidence crumpled when I looked into her eyes, so I gave up and walked into the classroom.**

**All of the tables had names on them, indicating where each student should sit. I quickly found mine and noticed I didn't share it with anyone. It was probably better that way. I glanced at the desk behind me to see who would be torturing me in this class. The one directly behind me was Mike Newton, _of course. _I glanced at the name next to his, Isabella Swan. I was glad she'd be sitting so close, maybe I could finally muster up the courage to talk to her. _I can't believe I didn't say anything to her!_ An idea struck me then, I could still make this right. Well, sort of. I pulled a piece of paper out of my notebook and wrote out the words I'd tried my hardest to say to her. Then I quickly folded the paper and set it on her side of the table. **

**I had just turned back around when I saw Bella shove Mike off of her and make her way to her desk. Mike followed behind her like a lost puppy. I heard Bella take her seat and unfold the piece of paper I'd placed on her desk. It took everything in me to not turn around and look at her face. Luckily the teacher started his lecture then, effectively distracting me for the next 15 minutes. After he was done telling us exactly what he expected from all of us this year he grabbed a book and plopped down in his chair instructing us to "talk amongst ourselves." **

**I had just opened my tattered copy of _Wuthering Heights_ when I heard Mike clear his throat.**

**"Are you enjoying Forks Bella?"**

**"Mhmm" was the only reply she gave him. I was glad to see she was avoiding any type of conversation with him.**

**"It's a pretty boring town. If you're ever looking for a good time, just give me a call." _What a prick!_ There was no way Bella was falling for this, was she?**

**"Whatever." Bella responded icily. **

**"Aww come on Bella, don't be that way. I'm just trying to be friendly." I heard Bella let out a frustrated sigh before Mike continued. "There's a lot of guys at this school, Bella. Have any of them caught your eye?" Bella didn't respond, but after a second I heard Mike scoff. _What w__as that about?_ I nearly jumped out of my seat when Mike started speaking to me. "Hey Edward, looks like you got yourself a girlfriend!" I froze. _What? Why would he say that? _It took me a couple of seconds to realize I wasn't breathing.**

**"Should you tell her Cullen? Or do you want me to?" _Shit!_ I knew it was only a matter of time before she learned the truth about me, but I don't think I could handle being in the same room as her when she did. "Oh right, you don't talk anymore. I almost forgot. Well then allow me. Bella, Cullen is a faggot. He doesn't like girls. Never has, never will." Mike paused. _Maybe that's all he's going to say. _Mike pulled the 'Cullen is gay card' on a daily bases. It was something I was used to and could handle, for a split second, I thought I was out of the woods. "Not to mention he's a psychopath." _No such luck. _I started trembling when I realized what he was going to say next. Trembling with anger, fear, regret… I felt like a child, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop shaking. "Haven't you heard? Cullen here killed his parents." It took all I had not to turn around and deck him. Anger filled me to the brim. I was Angry that Mike was such an ass-hole, angry that I had let my guard down for a girl who would now hate me along with everyone else in the school and angry that no matter what I did in my future, I couldn't change my past. It was set in stone and Mike was right, I was a murderer. Bella's voice brought me out of my angry thoughts and I strained to hear what she was hissing at Mike.**

**"Shut up Mike! You and I both know that isn't true." _What… How… Did, did she just defend me? Me? _She was probably just trying to be nice. I wondered how long that would last? Mike was completely correct in his statement. Well half of his statement. The flashback started then and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it…**

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**"_Pull it you little bastard!" He yelled as he pulled the gun and my hand closer to the side of his head. I sobbed uncontrollably, there was no way I could do this. _**

**"_I'm gonna give you to the count of five! I swear to God, if that bullet isn't buried in my brain by then, I'll kill them! I'll fucking kill them all!" There was no way I couldn't do this. I had to protect them from him. No turning back now, no choice to make. I had to do it._**

**"_5...4...3...2..."_**

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BANG!_**

**Before I knew what I was doing, I was under my desk. I hid my head as best I could and tried to catch my breath. Which was impossible considering how tight my chest was in that moment. I felt a few hot tears roll down my cheeks as I tried to shove the images from that night out of my head. I finally caught my breath and that's when I heard it. Laughing. I slowly realized where I was when I heard Mr. Molina call my name. I raised my head slowly to face the humiliation. It was something I did on a regular basis, I could get through this just like every other time. Then I met Bella's beautiful brown eyes. Not only had I been humiliated again, I had been humiliated in front of her. I knew it was too much to bear when I felt fresh tears roll down my face. I got up slowly, collected my books and walked out the door. I don't think Mr. Molina even noticed, but I could care less if he did. **

**I didn't bother stopping by the office to explain my absence. I just walked out the doors of the school and went to the car to wait for Alice. The only good part about this day was that now it would be easier to stick to my original plan: staying away from Bella. Once Mike told her every rumor he knew, true or not, she would steer clear of me like everyone else. _Just forget about her. _I kept telling myself over and over again. _You weren't even friends, barely even acquaintances! It's not like you're losing anything… _But it sure felt like I was. It felt like I was losing everything, all over again. **

**My mind was racing, trying to think of anything but today, that night or Bella. I was so wrapped up in controlling my thoughts, I nearly jumped out of my seat when I heard the car door open. **

**"Sorry." Alice said as she slid into the drivers seat. I regained my composure and gave her nod. We started the drive home in our usual silence. I stared out the window aimlessly when, surprisingly, Alice spoke up. "Rough Day, huh?" She didn't wait for me to respond (because she knew I wouldn't) before she continued. "I was really glad Bella was there though," _Great! She wants to talk about the girl I'm trying my hardest not to think about. _"It's awesome having a friend in a few of my classes. And we see each other between almost all of them." Her naturally cheery voice was replaced by a very serious one as she continued. "She's not like everyone else. She's compassionate and loyal… and just an all around good person. A great person." Of course I already knew all of this. The truth in her words only deepened the pain I was feeling at this moment. "And she doesn't let other peoples opinions, _on anything_, influence her own. " _What's that supposed to mean?_ She didn't elaborate and I obviously didn't ask. So we just settled back into our silence as we continued home. **

**I tried all day to not think about Bella, and all day I failed. Around 6:00 I took a couple swigs of Nyquil to knock me out for awhile, but I ended up dreaming about her. The dream was simple, nothing really happened. She just held me… while I cried like a baby. I wasn't embarrassed though and she wasn't repulsed by me. I think it was a good dream. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and when my thoughts automatically shifted to Bella, I knew school wasn't a possibility today. I went to the kitchen and wrote a note to my aunt, telling her I was sick and couldn't go to school today. I had never played hooky before, so she had no reason to think I was lying. Just to be sure though, I set the Nyquil on my nightstand, where she could see it if she came to check on me, along with some Kleenexes I had crumpled up to make them look used. _That should do the trick. _With that I took another shot of the Nyquil and drifted back to sleep. **

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**So that's what's going on in Edwards mind...**

**I just wanted to take a second to say something. I've read a ton of stories and have a ton on my alerts list that all have the same type of authors note at the top and bottom. They all say something to the effect of "If I don't get enough reviews, I won't continue writing this story!" some are not quite that civil "Review or die" seems to be farely popular too. I just want to let anyone who reads this know that I'm writing this story because I felt compelled to write it. It's not for any other reason. Reviews are great, I love them! And constructive criticism is awesome. I also love suggestioins and ideas... but I'm not writing this for reviews. I'm writing this for fun. **

**To the people who like this story and have added it to their alerts: First off, Thanks! Secondly, don't ever feel like you have to review to get me to write the next chapter. I will continue with this story until it's done, no matter how many reviews I get. If you have something to say, please say it! But don't feel like it's required. I think it's downright rude when authors demand reviews for new chapters... **

**I'm done ranting now! Basically... Review, if you want to!  
**


	5. Trying

**Authors note at the end!**

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BPOV_

Edward didn't come to school on Tuesday. Alice told me he was sick and I tried to believe her, but something told me he was just trying to avoid me. I couldn't blame him though. I too, would avoid someone who seemed to constantly put me in awkward and uncomfortable situations. My eyes shifted to the clock on the wall just as the bell rang. I grabbed my bag and nearly sprinted out the door of my English class, hoping to see Edward at his locker, but he wasn't there.

I needed to apologize for Monday. I knew he probably never wanted to see me again, but I still had to try and make things right. Alice had a different opinion on whether or not Edward wanted to see me again. I stood against the wall remembering the conversation I'd had with Alice yesterday after gym.

"_Bella, it's okay! Calm down… It wasn't your fault!" Alice tried her best to sooth me while I cried on her shoulder. She had seen the distraught look on my face as soon as I entered the gym. The second the bell rang she pulled me in to a secluded spot in the girls locker room and told me to tell her everything. I told her about the biology fiasco, leaving out a few insignificant details like, the reason Mike started teasing Edward in the first place. I couldn't confess to her that I had feelings for a boy I'd just met, especially when that boy was her troubled cousin. Her troubled cousin who happened to hate me._

"_It was my fault Alice, I should have stopped that lowlife from scaring him. I feel terrible. Edward probably hates me even more now…" I hung my head in my hands and let out another sob._

"_What do you mean 'hates you even more'?" Alice asked, confused. I forgot I hadn't mentioned what happened at the sleepover. I figured I should just come clean._

"_Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you…" I started slowly. "When I spent the night at your house, I woke up in the middle of the night because you and Rose had taken all the blankets-"_

"_Sorry, I'm a bit of a blanket hog…" she grinned, embarrassed._

" _It's okay. Anyway, I went to get another blanket from the closet when I saw that Edwards door was open and the light was on. I-I heard some music coming from the room. It was a song I knew so I walked to his door and saw him playing the piano." God, this was embarrassing… "He saw me then and I kind of… panicked. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there. He just got up and closed the door in my face and I practically ran back to your room." I was silent for a moment, waiting to see if Alice would say anything. She just stared down at her feet, looking like she was trying to figure something out. When she didn't speak I got worried, so I kept talking. "I tried to apologize to him today, that's when I asked him to walk to lunch with me.." her head shot up then and she looked right at me, I paused for a second, but again, she said nothing so I continued. "He was probably even more annoyed with me then, dragging him off to lunch, when he obviously didn't want to be there. But I thought maybe he'd forgiven me for being such a creep when he gave me that note-"_

"_WHAT NOTE?!" Alice demanded. I stared at her in shock for a moment, unable to answer. She gave me an apologetic look and tried again. "Sorry, I'm sorry. It's just… He- he gave you a note? That he wrote himself?"_

"_Um, yeah. Well kind of a note, it just said… Well when we were walking to class, I tried to make conversation and I mentioned that I like biology. When we got to the room, he went straight to his table and I stopped to talk to Mr. Molina. When I got to my table there was a note on it." I pulled the note out of my pocket and handed it to Alice. I watched as her face went from shock to pure joy when she read it. She pulled me into a tight hug and began laughing. _

"_Alice, what-" _

"_Oh, Bella! It all makes sense now! I don't know how I couldn't see it before! I mean I saw it a tiny bit at lunch, but I didn't realize…" she trailed off. I pulled away and looked into her eyes. What was she trying to say?_

"_Alice, what are you talking about?!" She laughed at my aggravated tone and gave me back the note as she attempted to explain._

"_The reason he came down for breakfast yesterday! The reason he was waiting for me in the kitchen this morning when usually I'm late for school because of him! The reason he ate lunch with us today…" I stared at her blankly as my mind raced, processing exactly what she was trying to tell me. She couldn't be saying that I… that it was… no. there's no way._

"_Bella, I know you know what I'm talking about. You're the reason. It's you."_

I wish I could say Alice's revelation had given me hope and confidence, but it didn't. Because it couldn't be true, I couldn't be the reason. It had to be something else, maybe a full moon or something… _but what if it was me? What would that even mean? Would that mean he wants to be my friend? Does he want to be more than just friends? Stop it Bella! Stop getting your hopes up for something that's NEVER going to happen!_ I was pulled out of my mental conversation with myself by my brothers voice.

"HELLLOOO! Earth to Bella!" he said as he waved a hand in front of my face.

"Oh, hey. Sorry." I glanced around the empty hallway. "Why aren't you at lunch?"

"Well when I saw you decided to skip it… again, I'm came to find you. AND I brought you this!" He said as he thrust some kind of sandwich wrapped in foil at me. I was extremely hungry, so I sat down in the same spot I'd been standing for the past 15 minutes and started eating.

"Thanks, Emmett." I said as he pulled out another sandwhich from his bag and sat down next to me.

"No problem. Now, who is it that we're outside of English class for?" He said suggestively with a waggle of his eye brows. I giggled at him, trying to hide my discomfort. I couldn't tell him about Edward, that would be too weird. Plus who knows how he'd react, I hadn't gotten his opinion on Edward yet.

"No one. I just couldn't take the crowded cafeteria today." I stated simply. He nodded.

"I feel ya sis. It all just gets to be too much sometimes doesn't it."

"Yes it does." We finished our sandwiches and he walked me to Biology. I was the first person there. I took my new seat at Edwards table. I had talked to Mr. Molina, immediately following Mondays class and explained that Mike had made me extremely uncomfortable during class and requested a new partner. He said that he would pair me with Edward on a trial basis and if it didn't work out I'd just have to deal with Mike.

I pulled out a book while people slowly filtered in from lunch. I was so absorbed in my story that I jumped in my seat when I heard the chair next to mine move. Edward sat down in the chair, scooted as far away from me as possible and began reading from his biology book. I mustered up all the courage I had and turned in my seat to face him.

"Hi Edward." No response. Not even a glance in my direction. "I'm glad you're feeling better." I tried again. He stared intently at the book in front of him_. _He was ignoring me. Of course he'd never verbally responded to me before, but this was different. He was completely ignoring my existence. Like he did with everyone else. _Alice was wrong_. I knew she was, but it still hurt. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn't budge. I could feel the tears filling up my eyes, _pull yourself together Bella!_ I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. Mr. Molina walked in 5 minutes late and after a wary glance in mine and Edwards direction, he began his lecture.

As soon as the bell rang, Edward grabbed his books and flew out of the room. I slowly gathered my things and made my way to the locker room. Alice was already there getting changed.

"So, I was right. Edward hates me. He completely ignored me in class today." She shot me a disapproving look.

"He ignores everyone Bella. Besides, he's in a terrible mood because of the meeting he had with Mrs. French-Cole and Coach Clapp today at lunch." _So that's why I didn't see him during lunch._

"What was the meeting about?" I asked curiously. Alice hesitated, then blew out a frustrated breath.

"Long story-short, Edward was 'excused' from taking gym his freshman and sophomore years because of some problems he had in the locker room with the other boys. But you have to have PE credits to graduate, so they're making him take it this year and next." The way Alice rushed through the story, I knew she didn't really want to talk about it. So I didn't push for details.

As we made our way into the gym, I saw Coach Clapp talking to Edward. He looked about as happy as a bear with his foot caught in a trap. His usual blank expression was replaced by a hard angry one. His eyes were fiercely glaring at the wall behind Coach Clapp's head. He didn't look at him once while he spoke. I had never seen him look so terrifying. I'd also never seen him look so _sexy… Stop it Bella!_

Gym was twice as excruciating now that Edward had joined the class. It was ridiculously embarrassing for him to witness me flailing around, constantly being hit, or hitting someone else with that stupid volley ball. I was more than relieved when class ended ten minutes early. I followed Alice back to the locker room where we washed up and changed. I moved towards the exit, anxious to get home, but Alice stopped me.

"Wait, Bella, before you go…"I stopped and turned around to face her.

"Yeah?"

"Well I just… Look, don't give up on Edward yet. He just had a bad day today. But I know something's different about him and I'm almost positive it has to do with you." I stared at her incredulously

"Alice…"

"Please Bella, for me… for him. Just keep trying to be his friend, like you were before." _So I can be painfully rejected day after day? NO! _But then she gave me that face and I knew I wasn't getting out of this one.

"Fine, I'll try…"

"Thank you. Really." I gave her a small nod and made my way to the parking lot where Emmett was waiting for me. The rest of the night I thought about what I had agreed to do. How was I supposed to go about making friends with someone who A. Didn't talk B. Ignored my existence and C. Seemed to hate my guts? This should be fun.

* * *

It had been 8 weeks. 8 weeks since school had started. 8 weeks since the biology incident. 8 weeks since Edward had acknowledged my existence. I had tried everything I could to get Edward even looking at me again, but all my ideas had failed. I greeted him everyday in biology and every day he ignored me. I tried everyday to make eye contact with him, but everyday he avoided my face like the plague. I asked him everyday to walk to gym with me… everyday he bolted out the door as soon as the bell rang.

This had gone on for almost three weeks. One day as he walked into the room Mr. Molina asked him to pick up a pen he had dropped in front of his desk. Of course Edward picked it up and gave it to him, then walked over to our table. That gave me the idea. A few minutes into the lecture I started looking around for something, anything. My eyes landed on the pencil box at the end of the table, right next to Edward. Mr. Molina had put one at every table in case we needed extras.

I looked back at my notes and pretended to start writing more. I put a sufficient amount of force on the tip and the led broke. _Perfect._

"Edward, could you hand me a pencil, mine broke…" I waited. And waited… AND WAITED. Finally I gave up. _That's it! I'm DONE! _I was furious, beyond furious. There were not words for what I was in that moment. Forgetting where I was and just wanting to get some anger out, I took the big biology book in front of me and slammed it shut with a loud _Thump!_

"Is there a problem Ms. Swan?!" Mr. Molina asked angrily.

"N-No sir, I'm sorry." I replied, embarrassed by my actions.

Since that day, I had been treating Edward exactly like he'd been treating me. Like he didn't exist. It was hard, but it had to be done. For the sake of my sanity.

Life outside of Edward was pretty fantastic. Alice, Rose and I hung out every weekend and I'd even made a few other friends at school. The majority of the student population ignored me much like Edward did. Probably because I was friends with Alice. Nobody here seemed to like Alice and I could only guess it had something to do with her being related to Edward. Which was so stupid, Alice had never done anything. Hell, neither had Edward for that matter.

Angela introduced herself to me during my second week at school, she was in most of my classes and I sat next to her in almost all of them. She said it seemed silly not to introduce herself. When I mentioned my best friend back home was named Angela, she told me 'it was meant to be' and we'd been friends ever since. She introduced me to her boyfriend Ben and his best friend Eric, who were both extremely nice and extremely smart. Which came in handy when I was struggling in Biology and had a less then helpful lab partner.

My two groups of friends never mingled and that was okay with me. I rarely hung out with Angela, Ben and Eric outside of school. If we did, it was just to study, so I lovingly refer to them as my 'Study Buddies'. While Alice and Rose are simply my best friends. My best friends who I was currently furious with.

"NO! I'm not going! You CANNOT make me!" I said, as we all sat on my bed one Friday afternoon.

"Bella don't be so dramatic, it's just a dance!" Alice said.

"A Halloween dance!" I shrieked "Incorporating the two worst things ever! Costumes and dancing! I'm not going."

"Bella, you don't have to dance or wear a costume, just please go for me! It's my last Halloween dance before I graduate and I want to spend it with my girls!" Rosalie pleaded with me.

"Rosalie, you're taking my brother and Alice is taking Jasper. What you're seeing as a 'girls night out' is gonna end up being a 'Bella's the 5th wheel again, night out'." I retorted.

"Not necessarily…" Alice began. Rose and I both looked at her. I could tell by the smile on her face she was concocting one of her plans. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever it is Alice, no. The answer is No." I said firmly to her.

"Bella at least let me say it first!" I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest waiting for her to continue. "Okay, well… Edwards going to the dance too." I interrupted before she could go any further.

"NO! NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING TO THE DANCE WITH HIM! Like he'd even agree to that in the first place!"

"Well, he kind of already did…" Alice said in an almost whisper. _What?!_

"What?!"

"My parents have been a lot tougher on him lately. They've been making him come out of his room for at least an hour every night to have 'family time'. It's kind of annoying and he really hates it, but at least he's out of his room. So last night during 'family time' I was telling my mom about the dance and how we were trying to convince you to go, but you didn't have a date-"

"That's not the only reason I WON'T go Alice!" I interrupted.

"Bella, please let me FINISH!" I leaned back against my headboard as Alice continued. "So I told her you didn't have a date and that's when my mom got the idea. She told Edward he should take you to the dance. So after about 20 minutes of heated discussion on my mom and dads side and unhappy grunts on Edwards side, they finally told him he was going to the dance and that was final. They said it would be good for him. Which it will be. Bella, he's going whether you go or not, but I think if you went he'd be a lot more comfortable."

"Alice, when are you going to get it through your head. Edward hates me. Possibly as much as he hates Mike Newton. I told you about the pencil incident! He ignores me more than anyone else! And now you want me to go to a dance with him, because you think he'll be more comfortable with me around?! It just doesn't make any sense!" What goes on in that girls head to make any of this sound like a good idea?

"Bella, I just have this feeling about you and Edward an my feelings are hardly ever wrong. Just do this one last thing for me and for Edward. If it goes terribly…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, like it pained her to say what she was going to say next. "I will never ask you to make unnecessary contact with him again. I swear." I had to consider that. Alice was on my case about Edward all the time. It was really tiring. If I could just endure this one night, she wouldn't bother me about it again. Was it worth it? _Yes… _I sighed in defeat.

"Fine Alice, but after the dance… I'm done." I said sternly. Alice clapped her hands and giggled with excitement.

"If it goes terribly, you are." She reminded me.

"Oh, it will." I assured her.

"Now for your costume. I'm thinking Audrey Hepburn!"

* * *

**AN: So this was kind of a filler. The next chapter will be the dance. And I think most of us know how dramatic High School dances can be. I went to one the entire time I was in high school... it was more than enough. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and added this story to their favorites and alerts!**

**Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated, but NEVER demanded!  
**


	6. Halloween

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and/or added this story to their favorites and alerts list. It really means a lot!**

**Now on to the dance!  
**

* * *

"Am I done now Alice?" I asked impatiently. It felt like I'd been sitting here, in Alice's huge bathroom, for hours. Alice had insisted on me coming over the morning of the dance so she could help me get ready. I had been, buffed, polished, waxed, pulled, plucked and downright tortured since I got here. Alice took a step back with the red lipstick in her hand and gave me the once over.

"Almost! Just one more thing…" she walked into her room and came back with a pair of black elbow length gloves, to match the dress I was wearing. I didn't put up a fuss when she put them on me, I had decided that morning to just let Alice have her fun today. I could survive one night at a dance, in a dress, with a date who despises me. I could always fall apart when I got home, if I needed too.

"There! Now you're done! You can look if you want." I stood up from the chair and turned to face the mirror._Holy crap!_

"Is that me?!" I couldn't believe it. I looked just like the picture we based the costume on. The dress was almost exactly the same. The necklace was just a strand of pearls, not an exact match, but close enough. I even had a tiara in the elegant bun on my head. Right now, I was Audrey Hepburn and Alice was a genius.

"Yep, and you look gorgeous, classy and unattainable. Exactly what I was going for!" Alice was glowing with pride for her work. Which she should, because never in a million years did I think I could look this beautiful. "Plus, Edwards gonna break his vow of silence when he sees you in this!" _Ugh… did she have to bring him up?_

"Sure he is." I replied sarcastically.

"You just wait and see Bella Swan. I have a feeling this is going to be a big night for you."

"Whatever Alice." A light knock came from the bathroom door.

"Girls? Can I come in?"

"Sure mom, we're all finished!" Alice said as her mother, Esme, entered the room. Esme was one of the sweetest people I had ever met. Her and her husband Carlisle both were. Their hospitality was through the roof, whenever I came over. Esme would cook a delicious dinner every time I spent the night and she _always_ had something sweet baking in the oven. Carlisle was a genius and had, on more than one occasion, helped me and Alice with our trig homework. I would have flunked out by now if it weren't for him.

Carlisle was the Chief of Medicine at the hospital here in town. He worked every day and went out of town for conferences almost every weekend. It meant a lot that he took time out of his busy schedule to help us. Esme owned an Interior Design business that was based in Seattle. She worked from home mostly, but she too traveled a lot on the weekends.

"Oh girls you look beautiful!" I blushed at Esme's words and glanced over at Alice. She had decided to go as a 1920's flapper. She had on a short black dress, covered in tassels, fishnet stockings, a few long strings of pearls and an elastic head band in her short black hair, complete with a feather sticking out. She looked unbelievably gorgeous. Jasper was going as a mobster and boy did he look the part. He even had a plastic orange squirt gun to put in the gun holster he wore under his jacket.

"Thanks mom. Did Jasper go back downstairs?" she asked.

"Yes, I asked him to go wait with Edward, so you girls could make an entrance." She winked at us and I blushed again. "So you're meeting Rose and Emmett at the dance, then?"

"Yep." Alice replied "Emmett wanted to take her out to dinner first. It's their 8 month anniversary. They celebrate EVERY month, that's just overkill if you ask me." _Leave it to my brother,_ I thought to myself. Esme just giggled and then turned to me.

"Bella, thank you so much for doing this. I know Edward isn't the easiest person to get along with, but I also know that he's lonely. He needs this, so again, thank you." Her words struck a nerve. Edward _was_ lonely, it was obvious. But he _chose_ to push everyone away, me further than anyone else. _Ugh… tonight is going to be hell…_

"It's not a problem Esme. It should be… fun." I said as I mustered up the biggest fake smile I had. She gave me and Alice a quick hug before scooting us out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

"Alright boys," Esme said from the top of the last flight of stairs "here come your ladies! And they are a sight to see!" I groaned internally, this is the moment I've been dreading the most. This would be the worst part, it would set the tone for the rest of the night. I wondered briefly as I made my way down the stairs, if Edward would be as rude to me in front of Esme. Would he even look at me? I mean, I was pretty much his date, he at least had to _look_ at me.

That momentary hope was squashed when Edward and Jasper came into view at the bottom of the stairs. Jasper was smiling up at Alice. Showing her with one look, how beautiful he thought she was and how much he cared for her. Edward stared at the floor. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt and dark gray dress pants. His hair was as messy as ever, probably from constantly running his fingers through it. His face was somber, his brow furrowed in concentration. As we neared the bottom of the stairs he took a deep breath and slowly, very slowly, raised his head to look at me.

Our eyes met for the first time in nearly two months, and in that moment my resolve crumbled. There was no way I could ignore this boys existence any longer. No matter how much he ignored me… his eyes couldn't lie. He wasn't rude to me because he was mean or stuck up or psychotic or any of the other things kids at school said he was. It was all an act, a defense mechanism. Whether he was protecting himself or others, or both, I didn't know. All I knew was this: Edward Cullen was lonely. Edward Cullen was broken. Edward Cullen was scared. Edward Cullen needed a friend. I knew then it didn't matter how awful tonight was. I would always try to be his friend. I would never give up.

I gave him a hesitant smile, hopefully conveying that I was willing to start over if he was. His cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink, before he cast his eyes back to the floor.

"Well kids, have a wonderful time," Esme said as she walked up to Edward and gave him a one-sided hug. "and be home by midnight." She added before opening the door for us. We made our way out to the Volvo, Alice driving and Jasper taking the front seat, while me and Edward shared the back.

As we drove in silence, I glanced at Edward. His eyes were closed as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger - something I noticed him doing a lot in biology - his jaw was shut tight and looked strained. His other hand was clenched into a tight fist on the seat. To say he looked stressed was an understatement. I felt bad for him, having to endure a night with a gym full of people who seemed to despise him for no reason. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand or try to comfort him someway, but I didn't know how.

* * *

The gym looked like a horror movie waiting to happen. Plastic spiders and bats were dangling from the ceiling with that fake spider web stuff, draped around them. Life size plastic skeletons were randomly placed throughout the gym. A few were seated at the tables set up against the walls. Of course we found Emmett sitting next to one of the a fore mentioned skeletons. He was dressed as Fred Flinstone and Rosalie was Wilma. As stupid as this whole debacle was, I had to admit, they looked adorable.

"Hey guys! We were wondering when you'd finally show up. The gym looks awesome, doesn't it Bells!" How could I disappoint that genuinely excited face?

"Yeah, Em. It looks great!" I replied enthusiastically. We took our seats around the table. I was conveniently placed between Edward and the skeleton and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips as I compared their conversational abilities.

"Something funny Bella?" Alice asked, I just shook my head. "Well I want to dance, come on Jasper." Rosalie and Emmett followed them out to the dance floor, leaving me with the corpses.

I looked around the gym and found Angela and Ben dressed as Christine and The Phantom. They spotted me and waved as they continued dancing. I noticed Mike in the corner of the room, decked out in his football uniform. He was accompanied by two cheerleaders - Jessica and Lauren. They were always hanging on or around him at school. I didn't get it, Mike was a poor excuse for a human being. Though, Jessica and Lauren didn't appear to be the friendliest people either. They were probably made for each other. Just then my sight was obstructed by a tall, gangly cupid.

"Hey Bella! Enjoying the dance?"

"Hey Eric… um, yeah, yeah. It's great." I lied.

"Hey, well um, do you wanna dance? That is if your, er… company doesn't mind me stealing you away." He looked nervously between Edward and the skeleton. I successfully held back my chuckle this time. I glanced over at Edward.

"You don't mind, do you Edward?" Edward just kept his gaze fixed on the plastic spider on the table in front of him. So I got up and let Eric lead me to the dance floor.

"I thought you were gonna ask Katie to the dance. Did you chicken out?" I teased Eric as we swayed to the music. Katie was in our English class and he'd had the biggest crush on her since the beginning of the year. We all encouraged him to ask her to the dance and last I heard, he was.

"Yeah, I got to nervous. She's here though. She came with her friends." he said as he glanced over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to where the red-head sat with a group of girls.

"Well what are you asking me to dance for?! Go over there and ask her!" I said, giving him a playful shove.

"You think I should?"

"Of course!"

"Alright after this dance." he replied, averting his eyes back to me.

"It's ok Eric, you don't have to dance with me, go on and ask her." I tried to reassure him.

"No way, Bella. I asked you to dance, I'm not just gonna ditch you in the middle of a song! Plus… your date looks a little less than thrilled to be here." I glanced back at Edward, who was still staring at that spider. "I think it's really nice of you to come with him though. It's been so long since I've seen him outside of school. I honestly didn't think it would ever happen again."

"You've seen Edward outside of school before? Where? I mean, I thought he never left his house, or his room for that matter." I asked, confused.

"Sure, _now_. But before his parents… um, died, I saw him all the time."

"I thought he lived in Port Angeles before that happened…"

"Yeah, technically, but he pretty much lived with the Cullen's then too. He stayed at their house every weekend and he and his mom both spent all of their summer vacations here. This is a pretty small town," he motioned around the room at the crowd of people as he continued. "we all know each other, we all grew up together. Even though Edward didn't technically live here, he was part of the group growing up." So many questions were flying through my head in that moment. _Why hadn't Alice mentioned this? Why had he spent all of his spare time in Forks? Had he been friends with all of these people? And if so, how could they treat him the way they did now?_

"So, Edward was friends with you all?" I asked trying to sort some of this out.

"Not really with me. You know how the only place to hang out around here is the diner right?" Sadly he was right. I hated that place, but we seemed to end up there every Friday night. Along with everyone else from this school. "Well he would hang out there with Mike, Tyler, Jessica and Lauren. That's where I would see him all the time."

"Whoa whoa whoa… Mike? Mike 'Lowlife' Newton?" Eric nodded his head. "Edward and Mike were friends?" the words sounded so wrong coming out of my mouth. He nodded again. "But they hate each other now… God! This is even stupider than I thought! How could those people, who were supposed to be his friends, watch him go through something as horrible as what he went through and then make up lies about him! What is wrong with them!" I was almost yelling at this point and probably causing a scene, but I didn't care. Someone needed to explain, or I was going to lose it.

"Bella, Bella, calm down. You don't know the rest of the story!" Eric tried to soothe me.

"Well then you'd better tell me, BEFORE I go castrate Mike." Like anything he could say at this point could give Mike an excuse to treat Edward like he did.

"Okay, just calm down and listen to me." I took a deep breath and folded my arms across my chest. We had given up dancing altogether now. "Edward and Mike were friends. They were probably best friends. But a couple of months before Edward… before his parents died, he changed."

"Changed how?" I asked skeptically. Eric had proven to be a very trustworthy friend. But I had learned to take everything people said about Edward with a grain of salt.

"Well, he started coming to town less and less. And when he was here, he just seemed angry. Every time I'd see him at the diner, he'd just be sitting in the corner staring at the floor. Mike was really worried about him and I know he tried to talk to him a couple of times, to see if something was wrong, but Edward just got more and more stand-offish. One Friday night we were all at the diner when Edward just snapped… and I mean snapped. I don't know what Mike said to provoke him, at that point he was still trying to figure out what was wrong with him, but he said something that set him off. He ended up throwing Mike against the wall and beating the shit out of him. We didn't see Edward again until a couple of weeks later, when he moved here because his parents were… killed.

"Look Bella, I'm not saying he killed them… but I'm not saying he didn't either. Sure, we may seem like small town hicks who feed off gossip. But when you know a kid practically his whole life, then he flips out and beats his best friend to a pulp and a couple of weeks later his parents end up shot to death in their home, the only witness being Edward who won't talk… What are we supposed to think?" I said the only thing I could.

"I don't know." It was the truth. I didn't know what he, or I or anyone was supposed to think. All I knew was, I thought I was finally getting some answers about Edward, but all I got were more questions.

"I had given him the benefit of the doubt, until the first day he came to school. He flipped out in the locker room and not only beat Mike up again, but Tyler too."

"I… I thought Edward got beat up in the locker rooms. I thought that's why he'd been excused from gym the past two years." isn't that what Alice had told me? I guess she really didn't specify, who beat up who… I just assumed by the way Mike treated him, Edward was the one being bullied.

"That's the weird part. He got sent to the office after the fight in the locker room that first day. Then the next day, Mike and Tyler started in on him, trying to pick another fight, but Edward just ignored them. Mike finally threw a punch at him and we all just froze, waiting for Edward to do something, he could have easily taken both of them, but he just stood there. So they kicked his ass and they continued to do so for the next week. Everyday Edward would just stand there and take it. He's never so much as looked at Mike in a threatening way since then. Ben finally got the courage to tell one of the teachers what was happening to Edward. When they questioned him he didn't talk, of course, but the physical evidence was all they needed. That's when they pulled him out of gym." A new song came over the speakers, bringing me out of my daze.

"I'm gonna go ask Katie to dance. You're not mad at me, right? I mean, you don't think any less of me because of what I told you, do you? I know you don't like when people talk about Edward." I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Of course not Eric. That's the most honest story I've heard about Edward since I moved here. I can't say it answers any of my questions, it probably only brings up more… but at least I know both sides of the story. Now, get over there and ask that girl to dance before someone else does!" I said giving him a push in Katie's direction. He looked back and smiled at me before he reached her. I turned to head back to my table, when I ran into someone's chest. Two strong hands gripped my shoulders uncomfortably.

"Where are you running off to?" Mike said in that sickening voice.

"Let go of me Mike." I said as I struggled to break away from his grip.

"Oh, come on Bella, I just came over to ask if you wanted to dance. Don't be mean."

"I don't want to dance with you Mike, just please let me go." I tried harder to escape him, but his grip only tightened.

"I'm trying to give you a second chance here Bella, now be a lady and dance with me! Didn't your mother teach you any manners!" I froze at the mention of her. The person I tried hardest not to think about, because it was just too painful. A twisted smile played across Mike's features as he took in my reaction.

"Oh that's right… you're mothers dead." I felt the tears start running down my face. _Why is he doing this to me!_ "I think I understand now… Why you're so interested in that sick fuck over there." He nodded his head in Edwards direction. I looked too, trying to see his face through my tears. He was staring straight at Mike, hands gripping the arm rests on his chair. Mike leaned down to whisper in my ear, his hot breath on my neck made me want to vomit right there. "Maybe you two have more in common than I thought." He chuckled darkly as I processed what he was saying. Just then, another set of arms ripped me from Mikes grasp.

"Easy there Cullen! I was just having a conversation with your psychotic girlfriend. She was telling me all the things you guys have in common. You really are quite perfect for each other." Mike leaned around Edward, who was now between us, to give me a wink. I couldn't take any more. I ran out the door as fast as my heals would let me. I didn't stop until I escaped the building, finally coming to rest on a bench that sat just outside the school.

Then I let go. I let all my walls down and I cried. I cried for Edward, for my mother, for me. I just cried. I cried so hard I didn't even notice the person next to me, until they laid their hand on top of mine. I looked up, startled, only to be met with those green eyes. His face held more emotion in that moment, then it had in all the time I'd known him.

Without fully realizing what I was doing, I flipped my hand over and interlocked our fingers. His expression didn't change and his eyes stayed locked on mine. A few more tears escaped me eyes, he raised his other hand and gently caressed my cheek, while wiping away the tears with his thumb. I automatically leaned into his touch. He slowly leaned forward, until his forehead was resting on mine. Then he did the last thing I ever expected. It was barely a whisper, barely even audible, but he spoke. Edward spoke.

"I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."

* * *

**I know, I know. It's a bit of a cliffy… but it really was the perfect place to end this chapter! **

**Next chapter will be in Edwards point of view. It will cover the dance and what happens after. Stay tuned! It will be up some time this week!**

**As always, reviews are APPRECIATED, but never DEMANDED!**


	7. Tell Her

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!**

**So here's a little more from Edwards POV. Bella will be back for the next chapter. **

**On a side note: I am making a playlist for this story. I'll be working on it throughout the next couple of chapters, but I will post it on my profile once it's finished. The song that inspired this chapter was 'Tell Her This' by Del Amitri. If you haven't heard it, go listen to it! **

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

One look. That's all it took. One look to make me forget the weeks of ignoring her, of avoiding eye contact with her, of being down right rude to her. I had done it all to give her a chance. A chance at a normal high school existence. Because if she was friends, even just acquaintances, with me… she was done for. She was the only person I had actually wanted to talk to since everything happened, it was down right torture trying to ignore her.

I almost caved that day she asked for a pencil in biology._There's no way I can't hand her the pencil! What kind of person does that?! _I asked myself. _The kind of person Bella Swan won't associate with, that's who…_ I worked. Bella hadn't attempted to speak to me, look at me, even acknowledge me since that day. I thought I had succeeded. Sure, I would be miserable for the rest of, well, my life, but at least Bella could have other friends and avoid Mikes 'hit-list', so to speak.

All those weeks of doing right by Bella, meant nothing now, as I watched her walk down the stairs towards me. There were no words to describe how beautiful she was. Breath-taking was the closest, but was still nowhere near the perfection that stood before me. I didn't care how selfish I was anymore. I wanted her, in any way I could have her. _Too bad you screwed up any chance you had with her, you moron. She'll never forgive you for the way you treated her…_

Then, to my surprise and delight, as if she were trying to prove me wrong, she smiled at me. A genuine smile, for me. I was so ashamed of myself in that moment. I would never forgive myself for treating Bella the way I did, even if I had done it with her best interest in mind. I dropped my eyes to the floor, they were unworthy of contact with Bella's.

Esme said something that I didn't catch as she walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened, not returning the gesture. With that she scooted us out the door. Of course I had to share the backseat with Bella. The ache to touch her, grab her hand, play with her hair, was overwhelming. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything but the gorgeous woman sitting next to me.

* * *

I followed a few paces behind the others, trying to compose myself. The gym was a nightmare. I was sure at any moment Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers would come through the doors and massacre the unsuspecting children.

We sat down at a table with Bella's brother and Rosalie. Bella took the empty seat next to a skeleton and I took the only seat left, next to her. My eyes drifted to a giant fuzzy spider on the table in front of me. I stared at him and he stared right back at me. Bella giggled next to me and I glanced up at her. _What's so funny? _I wanted to ask, nothing came out. Luckily Alice was as curious as me.

"Something funny Bella?" Bella didn't answer, she just shook her head. _I wish I knew what she was thinking. _"Well I want to dance, come on Jasper." Alice grabbed Jaspers hand and pulled him to the dance floor, Rosalie and Emmett not far behind them.

_Well this is awkward… _I thought to myself. _Should I ask her to dance? _What a joke. Even if I could manage to get the words out, she'd never dance with me. So I just continued staring at the fuzzy spider, who seemed to be glaring angrily at me. I was about to ask him what the fuck his problem was, when my thoughts were interrupted.

"Hey Bella! Enjoying the dance?" I looked up to see Cupid, otherwise known as Eric Yorkie, standing in front of our table.

"Hey Eric… um, yeah, yeah. It's great." I didn't even have to look at her to know she was lying. I should be trying to make this night fun for her, but I doubt she could ever enjoy herself while I was around.

"Hey, well um, do you wanna dance? That is if your, er… company doesn't mind me stealing you away." _Yes I do mind, you ass-hole! Now get out of my sight and leave Bella alone! _

"You don't mind, do you Edward?" _So she wants to dance with him… _I couldn't bring my self to acknowledge her. Even though I was done ignoring her, I couldn't compose myself enough to even look at her. I could feel the jealousy practically oozing out of my pores. One look in my eyes and she'd know exactly how much I minded.

She finally got up and followed stupid Cupid to the dance floor. My eyes tried to follow them, but I couldn't allow that. The fuzzy spiders expression seemed softer now. Maybe he felt bad for me. I didn't need his pity, or anyone else's for that matter.

_Would you just leave me alone? _I told the spider.

_You should have asked her to dance, Edward. _The spider scolded.

_She would have said no! _I said matter-of-factly.

_You don't know that. _The spider responded.

_Why on earth would she want to dance with me? No one else wants to dance with me. _The spider was silent for a moment, I thought I had him.

_Since when has Bella EVER been like anyone else. She's different, She's special and you're blowing any shot you have with her by just sitting here. _The spider was right. He knew he was right. I looked over to where Bella was dancing with Eric. A new song started playing and she gave him a playful shove in the direction of a table full of girls. She watched him for a moment, then turned back in my direction only to be stopped by Mike.

The second he grabbed her my entire body froze. Every muscle in my body tensed, ready to attack if necessary. She tried to get away, but he pulled her closer. He shot me a look and I met his gaze fiercely, he seemed a little shocked. Probably because the last time he'd seen this look in my eyes, I beat the shit out of him. I glanced at Bella's face and saw the tears in her eyes. _That's it. _

I was out of my seat and half way to where they stood when he started whispering something in her ear. The sight of him that close to her only made me move faster. Before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed Bella out of his disgusting hands and put her safely behind me. Never breaking eye contact with him.

"Easy there Cullen! I was just having a conversation with your psychotic girlfriend. She was telling me all the things you guys have in common. You really are quite perfect for each other." I had no idea what he meant by that and I didn't care. He leaned around me and winked at Bella, I heard her heals clicking as she ran out of the gym. I gave him a hard shove and he stumbled backwards. He caught himself and was back in my face in a flash.

"Go ahead Cullen, hit me." He motioned his head towards the group of teachers standing by the punch bowl. "_I dare you_" I grabbed Mike by his stupid football jersey and pulled his frail body in the air so he could fully meet my eyes.

"You touch her again and I will." With that I dropped him and headed out the door, looking for Bella. I searched the halls frantically, with no luck. I made my way to the back doors of the school when I realized she must have gone outside. I found her there, sitting on a bench… sobbing.

She didn't hear me open the door and she didn't hear me when I walked towards her and sat down. She had her head in one of her hands while she used the other to support herself. She looked so breakable and more than anything I wanted to be the one to hold her together. I didn't know exactly how to go about doing that, so I just silently placed my hand on top of hers, letting her know I was here. Here for her. Now and always, if she'd have me.

She gasped as she turned and looked into my eyes. I had never seen so much pain there before, but it was impossible to ignore now. I cursed myself for being the cause of some, if not all, of that pain. I was waiting for her to pull her hand away, to run and tell me to stay away from her, but she didn't. Instead she flipped her hand over and locked her fingers with mine. A few more tears fell from her eyes, so I raised my hand to wipe them away.

Her skin was so soft and so warm, I never wanted to let go. I wanted, no… needed to be closer to her. I leaned forward until my forehead was resting on hers and closed my eyes. The touch of her skin, the scent of her hair, her very presence gave me the courage to do what I had to do next. _Apologize._

"I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry." I said it. I actually said it. It was barely a whisper and I nearly choked trying to get it out, but I said it. When she didn't respond, I opened my eyes and leaned back. She was staring at me wide-eyed. I dropped my hand from her face and ran it through my hair while looking down at our entwined fingers.

"Edward…" She began. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am about what happened with Mike that day in biology."_ What?!_ My head shot up to look at her, but she wouldn't meet my gaze. "It was my fault and I should have stopped him, I know. I should have realized what he was doing and warned you. You have every right to be mad at me and treat me the way you have." I should be stopping her, telling her she's insane, telling her none of this was her fault. But I was stunned into silence, once more. The voice I had found tonight went back into hiding. I started searching frantically for it again. "But Edward the day you started ignoring me, I felt like I lost something. Something I didn't even know I had until it was gone. I know that sounds crazy, because I barely know you... But I don't think I could take if, if you… if things… went back to the way they were. Please forgive me. Please let me in."

I stared at her in disbelief, still searching for my voice. All this time I thought I was getting her to hate me and she thought I was holding a grudge for something that was never her fault. I had caused her more pain than I ever intended to. I was scum. Lower than scum. But even after the horrible way I treated her, she was still here. Asking for _my_ forgiveness and begging me to let her be a part of my life. After a few silent moments she looked up and met my gaze. I watched more tears form and drop from her eyes as she spoke again.

"That was stupid of me to say." She sounded worried, probably because I had yet to respond. _Speak Edward! Talk to her before she gets away again!_ I tried to form the words, but it seemed impossible. Bella looked at the ground and took her hand out of mine. "I'm sorry…" she started again, but I wouldn't let her apologize anymore. I found my voice.

"Bella stop." She looked up at me, wide-eyed again. My voice was loud and clear this time. "Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. You couldn't have known what Mike was going to do and you couldn't have stopped him if you tried. I never blamed you for that! Ever!"

"Then… then why…" she started, but couldn't finish.

"I was trying to protect you, Bella." She gave me a questioning look, so I decided to start again. "Everything you said before, about losing something you didn't know you had? I felt the exact same way. There's something about you that draws me in and denying that has been torture. But I wanted you to have a chance at this school. To make friends and have a normal existence. If… If people associate you with me… they won't give you a chance. And next time, it won't be me that Mikes picking on. I can't stand the thought of him hurting you. I was just trying to keep you safe." I put my head in my hands as the realization of my own words set in. I still needed to keep her safe. I still was unworthy of her friendship. She still needed to stay away from me.

"You listen to me Edward Cullen and you listen good!" The intensity of her words shocked me. I looked up and saw a plethora of emotions in her eyes. Anger, pain, understanding. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. If people are going to ignore me and avoid me just because of who I hang out with, well I don't want those kind of people as friends anyway! As for Mike, I'm a big girl Edward. I can handle him. He's not near as tough as he pretends to be. So stop with these lame ass excuses and give me one good reason we shouldn't be friends." I flinched at her words. There was a reason, a very good reason we shouldn't be friends. I couldn't bring myself to say it. So I settled for something else.

"I'm not a good guy, Bella. I'm not a good friend for you." I said as I stared at my feet. She put her hand under my chin and pulled my face up, forcing me to look at her.

"I don't believe that, not for one second." She moved her hand to my cheek and gently caressed it with her thumb. All the anger left her face and a bit of the pain and sadness returned. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me again." My heart broke at her words. There was no way I could deny her, not now. I closed my eyes and placed my hand over hers, leaning into her touch.

"I won't" I promised her. "I won't" We both jumped when my phone beeped, bringing us back to reality. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. A text message from none other than - _Alice Cullen: Buzz Kill_

_Where are you? Have you seen Bella?_

_-Alice_

"Who is it?" Bella asked

"Alice. She wants to know where we are." I replied, trying to think of how to say what I needed to say.

"We should probably get back in there and find them." She said as she stood up.

"Bella wait." She turned and sat back down. "Look, I'm… I'm not… ready. To talk to my family. Or anyone else for that matter." I paused to see if she understood what I was saying. She was quiet for a few moments before she finally spoke up.

"I understand Edward. I won't tell anyone about you talking to me. You have to promise me something though. Two things actually."

"Anything." I responded hastily. She nodded and took a deep breath before continuing.

"One, don't shut me out again."

"Never." I promised her. She smiled.

"Two, you have to promise me that you _will_ talk to them. Soon. I'm not pretending to know anything about your past. But I know that holding things in like this isn't good for you. One day you're gonna snap, if you don't let it out. I don't want to see that happen." She was completely serious and she was completely right. Could I do it though? Could I tell my family the horrible things I had done. What would they think of me? What would she think of me? I still had time though, she wasn't making me tell them tonight. So I looked into her eyes and gave her my word.

"I promise Bella." She stood up and walked towards the door.

"Wait a minute before you come in. That way they won't ask questions." I smiled and nodded as she walked into the building.

* * *

When I got back to the gym I was bombarded by the little pixie. She ran up to me with a concerned look on her face that told me she had heard about what happened with Mike.

"Where were you?" I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. "Are you okay?" _Weird question… _I nodded my head and started towards our table. "Wait!" I stopped and turned to face her again, hopefully conveying with my expression how annoying she was being. "Did, um… did you say something to Mike tonight?" I sighed and shook my head. When it came to stories about me and Mike, she had learned to except they were all rumors. Like the time Mike didn't show up for school and his parents forgot to call in to say he had the flu. By the end of the day the story was I had him locked in my basement and was slowly torturing him to death. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I just shrugged and walked away.

I saw Bella laughing at her brother who was currently having a deep discussion with the skeleton at our table. Right as I sat down, Rosalie came up to steal Emmett away for another dance. Leaving Bella and I alone again, just how I wanted it. As soon as her brother was out of sight, Bella looked over at me and smiled. And for the first time in years, I smiled back. We just stared at each other for a while, taking each other in, appreciating our new found friendship. Bella reached into her purse and pulled out a little note pad and pen. She wrote something down and slid it to me.

_How did you get out of wearing a costume tonight? Alice is like the Halloween Nazi._

I chuckled, remembering the one way argument with Alice earlier today.

_**I didn't**_

She looked confused until I pulled the plastic vampire teeth Alice had given me out of my pocket. Bella giggled and wrote something else.

_I love vampires. Anne Rice is one of my favorite authors._

_**Mine too.**_

I spent the rest of the night, silently and secretly enjoying the company of my new friend. My only friend. My best friend.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites!**

**Reviews are appreciated but not demanded!  
**


	8. Study

**Disclaimer: Don't own it!**

**So I had a ton-o-fun writing this chapter! It's definitely my favorite so far. I know a lot of schools get the day before Thanksgiving off, but for the sake of the story, Forks High doesn't. Okay? **

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Alice asked as we began to walk out of the cafeteria.

"Nothing." I replied dully. I really didn't want the subject to be brought up again, especially with Emmett in ear-shot. I glanced behind me to make sure he hadn't heard Alice mention it. He was still standing by the table, Rose appeared to have him in a trance.

"What do you mean nothing?" Alice asked, a perplexed look on her face.

"I mean nothing. My dad's working a double shift, because almost everyone else asked for the day off and Emmett's going to his moms for the rest of the week." Emmett had begged me to go with him, I didn't think it was such a good idea. _Sure Emmett, bring the reason your parents split up to Thanksgiving dinner… I'm sure that'll work out great!_ Of course I'd never say that to him. After two days of constant nagging, he finally gave up. He was planning on leaving straight from school today, which is why I had driven my truck.

"Well that's just unacceptable!" Alice exclaimed. "You're spending Thanksgiving with us!"

"No, no, no Alice. I'll be fine, I swear. I'm not going to intrude on your family like that!" I tried to persuade her, but she wasn't having it.

"Bella, my parents adore you! You know that! You're simply not getting out of this. I'll come pick you up tomorrow afternoon. Pack a bag, you're staying the night too." She stated as she began walking down the hall to her next class.

"Alice-" I started to protest, but she interrupted.

"You're coming Bella. That's final." She gave me a wave before sprinting down the hall. _Evil pixie. _

My mood immediately brightened as I neared the end of the hall. I got butterflies in my stomach when I thought of who would be waiting for me as soon as I rounded the corner. I picked up my pace, in an attempt to get to him faster. I turned down the hall towards our biology class and saw him. His eyes instantly locked with mine as his lips spread into that gorgeous, heart-stopping smile. I remember the first time he smiled at, me a few weeks ago at the dance. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. Since then he's waited here for me everyday after lunch. He'd give me that smile and walk with me down the all too short hallway and into class.

We walked into the classroom and took our seats. I tore a piece of paper from my notebook and started writing.

_-How are you today?_

I slid the paper towards him. This was our routine. Everyday we'd pass notes back and forth all through class. We talked - well, wrote - about everything. Our favorite movies, books, music. I knew his favorite food was spaghetti and meatballs and his favorite animal was a dog, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi to be exact. I knew that as much as he liked summer and the sun, he'd always like winter better because of the snow. _There's something so calming about it. _he'd written one day, _It makes everything quiet. It makes everything disappear._ He then proceeded to write how stupid that sounded, but I assured him it didn't.

As much as I knew about Edward, I still felt like I didn't know him at all. Yes, we had bonded and become friends, but there were still so many questions that didn't have answers. I wasn't going to pressure him though, not yet anyway. I hadn't actually heard Edward speak since the night of the dance. Even though I'd only heard it once, I missed the sound of his voice. I had been trying to come up with a way to see him outside of school, so we could really talk. Nothing had come to me yet.

That's when it hit me. Emmett was leaving straight from school today… and Charlie would be at work until nine tonight… Just then Edward slid the paper back towards me. _It's now or never, _I told myself. I glanced down to see what he had written.

_**-I'm great, now. How about you?**_

I smiled and began writing before I chickened out.

_-I'm pretty good. Hey, Charlie's working late and Emmett's leaving from here to go to his moms for the rest of the week… do you wanna come over for a little while? We could study?_

I passed him the note quickly, trying not to think about what I'd just written. _It's okay Bella! He's just gonna say yes or no and then you can go on with your lives. Wait… what if he does say no… Oh god I'm an idiot!_ Before I could freak myself out any further, Edward slid the note back to me.

_**-I'd love to. I just don't know what I'd tell Alice…**_

_Oh right, Alice, _I thought to myself. I was slightly annoyed by this arrangement we had going. While I understood his reason, it was definitely hindering not only our friendship, but mine and Alice's as well. Like she promised, Alice no longer badgered me about befriending Edward. Now what she did was just casually bring up while we were talking. She'd mention how he stayed longer than an hour for 'family time' one night. And how he would come out during the day sometimes to get a snack. And how he didn't look quite so distant and lonely these days. The point of these statements being: she knew something was up and she knew I knew what that something was. I was about to just write _that _on our note, but decided against it.

_-Tell her you're going to the library after school. You do that sometimes anyway, right? She'll believe you._

I passed the note to him and waited for his response. He seemed to hesitate for a few moments, but finally wrote something down and pushed it in my direction.

_**-You're good Swan. Alright, I'll text her when we get out of class. Where should I meet you after school?**_

_-Meet me by my truck, when it's cleared out a bit._

_**-Can't wait**_

_**

* * *

**_He's actually coming to my house. I'm actually going to get to hear his voice again. We're really going to spend time together. Just the two of us. I tried to hide my excitement as I entered the locker room, but Alice caught on immediately

"What's that goofy grin for? Have a good time in biology?" She winked at me and I tried my best to ignore that comment.

"I'm just excited about spending Thanksgiving with you, that's all." I gave her an innocent smile, she wasn't buying it.

"Really? Because you seemed quite put off by the idea an hour ago." _OBSERVANT evil pixie…_

"I guess the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea." Alice just rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Bella."

When we got into the gym, the girls were told to start a game of volleyball, while the guys practiced free-throws. I tried my best not to look at Edward, but I know my eyes slipped a few times. And I know Alice saw me, nothing got past that girl. It was painfully hard putting on this charade when I knew she saw right through me.

I changed as fast as I could after gym and nearly sprinted to my truck. Emmett's jeep was already gone and I was glad he hadn't tried to persuade me anymore before he left. I waved to Alice as she pulled away in the Volvo, then to Angela, Ben and Eric as they started walking home. Mike winked at me as he got into his car, while Jessica shot me a death-glare. I just ignored them. Pretty soon the parking lot was almost empty and before I knew it, Edward was opening my car door. I smiled at him as he climbed in and he smiled back.

"Hey." I said nervously as he buckled his seat belt. _Please say hi, Please say hi…_

"Hey Bella." he smiled brightly. My stomach was doing flip-flops at the sound of my name rolling off of his tongue. We fell into a semi-awkward silence as I drove to my house. I figured I needed to be the one to start the conversation, considering Edward probably hadn't had a real conversation in almost 3 years.

"So are you looking forward to the long weekend?" That was a good enough topic right? Probably not, but nothing else had come to me…

"Not really…" It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. I knew this was probably hard for him, so I tried my best to help him out.

"What? Are you gonna miss school or something?" I asked sarcastically. He let out a small chuckle before tuning to me.

"School's not as bad as it used to be." I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and bit my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my smile. I was surprised when he continued the conversation. "So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?" I hesitated for a moment, wondering how he'd feel about me spending the holiday with his family. There was no getting out of it now, though. Alice's mind was made up and I'm sure she's told Esme by now, which means it's set in stone.

"Um… actually, I'll be spending Thanksgiving at your house. Alice invited me today, after she found out I was planning on spending it alone."

"No one should spend Thanksgiving alone." Edward replied. "Maybe I'll see you while you're there."

"Why wouldn't you?" I asked. "Aren't you going to eat with us?" Edward tensed in his seat and took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times, tugging on the ends with each pass. I felt bad for making him so nervous, but I wasn't going to be an enabler. He needed someone encouraging him to break out of his shell and I was more than happy to be that person. If he'd let me.

"Probably not." he finally answered as we pulled into my driveway. I cut the engine and turned to face him. He turned his head towards me, a hand still in his hair.

"I think you should. It's a good first step and like you said, no one should spend Thanksgiving alone." He looked down at his feet. I could see he was uncomfortable, so I decided to change the subject. "Come on, let's go inside."

When we got inside, we dumped our books on the coffee table in the living room. Edward said he'd get all of our biology notes together while I got us something to drink. I came back with two cans of cherry coke and handed one to Edward who was sitting on the floor in front of the table. I sat down next to him and grabbed my Biology notebook from the table.

"So, what part of the module did you need to study?" Edward asked. _Crap…_ I hadn't thought this far ahead yet. This was embarrassing.

"Actually… I really don't need to study any of it. This was one of the easiest modules. I've already finished the study guide questions." I laughed nervously. I knew I was bright red right now. I heard Edward chuckle.

"Me too." I looked up at him and grinned in embarrassment. He smiled as he scooted backwards resting against the couch. "So what should we do?" He asked as I mimicked his movements.

"Whatever you want, I guess." I said fidgeting nervously with the pen and notebook in my hands.

"So you said you're brother's spending the weekend with his mom?" I smiled at his attempt to start a conversation.

"Yeah, he spends most holidays with her. He asked me to go with him this year, he didn't want me to be alone, but I didn't think it was a good idea."

"Why not?" _That's a loaded question. _I wasn't sure exactly how to answer, but I would want him to be honest with me… so I decided to be honest with him.

"Um, it's kinda complicated. See, my dad and Emmett's mom were still married when I came into the picture. Long story short, I'm pretty much the reason they got divorced." I felt a twinge of guilt as I told him this. It wasn't something I liked talking about, if I had never been born, they might still be together.

"Why would you think that?" I stared at him, dumbstruck.

"What do you mean?" _Why wouldn't I think that?_

"Bella, if your dad was cheating on his wife… they were obviously already having problems. Yeah, an affair is a good reason to get a divorce, but that wasn't your fault. You couldn't help being born, so don't blame yourself for something you had no control over." _Wow._ I had never thought of it that way. He was right though. For 17 years I've been blaming myself for something that I couldn't have stopped anyway. It seemed silly now. I was about to say something when Edwards phone beeped. He pulled it out of his pocket and read the message.

"It's Alice." He said, confused

"Oh yeah? What did she say?" he handed me the phone and I looked at the text.

_-Are you enjoying the library? ; )_

_*Alice*_

"That's the most random text she's ever sent me." Edward stated. "She usually just texts me when she can't find me. What do you think it means?" I knew exactly what it meant, but I wasn't sure how to tell him.

"Um… I think she knows you're with me."

"How would she know that?" Edward almost demanded.

"I… Uh, I… It's… she-she said you'd been acting… different, for the past couple of weeks and she thinks it has something to do with me." I cast my eyes down to the notebook in my lap, unable to look him in the eye. Edward sighed, setting his phone on the table.

"God, how does she _always _know. You can't hide _anything_ from her, she sees right through everyone." I giggled a bit when Edward pretty much repeated my thoughts from earlier. Edward crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head in disbelief. I knew it probably wasn't the best time to ask, but now that he knew Alice was onto us, I couldn't keep the burning question to myself any longer.

"Edward, what are you so afraid to tell them?" I blurted out. He whipped his head around and stared at me incredulously. Our eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity, before he slowly turned his head and stared at the wall in front of him. His expression changed then and I knew that face all too well. Emotionless Edward. I wouldn't let him revert back to that. "Don't shut me out, Edward. You-you promised me you wouldn't shut me out." A pained expression transformed his features. His cheeks turned pink as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. We were silent for a while. I glanced back down at the notebook, _if he won't say it… _It was worth a shot. I quickly wrote on the paper and handed it to him, setting the pen in between us.

_-What is it that you feel you can't say?_

He stared at the note for a long time. Just when I thought he wasn't going to respond, his hand slowly reached for the pen. He hesitated over the paper for another long moment before finally writing something down. When he was finished, he nudged the notebook in my direction, asking me to take it from him. Even though I was expecting an answer like this, it still shocked me to see that he had actually written it down. Slowly but surely he was opening up to me.

_**-It's about my parents**_

_**What really happened that night.**_

For a while I just stared at the note, still shocked that he had written that. The only sound in the room was Edwards heavy breathing. Which seemed to get more erratic by the minute. I finally looked up at him and saw his now red cheeks and the tears that were rolling down them. I felt horrible for making him feel this way, but at the same time, I was so proud that he had the courage to open up to me.

"Edward, look at me." I commanded. He closed his eyes and kept his head down. So I put my hand on his cheek, turning his head and forcing him to meet my gaze. When he finally opened his eyes, the sadness in them was overwhelming. I felt my own eyes begin to water. I started to brush away his tears with my thumb and he closed his eyes again. Wanting to do something more to comfort him, I traced my hand up the side of his face and began running my fingers through his hair.

After a few seconds of this, his eyes opened again. My breath caught when I noticed the change in them. The sadness was still there, but something else was there too. Something that ignited a fire in the pit of my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair again, this time letting them travel further down until my hand rested on his neck. He leaned forward a tiny bit and placed his hand on my waist. Breathing got more and more difficult as I felt his cool fingers caressing the skin that was exposed where my shirt had ridden up a bit. It was my turn to lean forward now, we got closer and closer. I felt his nose nuzzle against mine, his hot breath on my face. I opened my mouth in order to taste it. We were so close now. We were both panting as he began to close that final inch between our lips.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the booming voice from the door, where a very confused and very angry Emmett was standing.

"Emmett! What are you doing here?" Emmett didn't answer. Instead he stormed towards us, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. He looked absolutely terrifying. I noticed his eyes were fixed on Edward, as he tried to get to his feet as quickly as possible.

"It's time for you to leave Cullen!" Emmett said sternly. I stood up then too and placed myself between the two of them, facing Emmett.

"This is my house too Emmett, you can't just tell my guest to leave." I snapped at him.

"Oh yeah! WATCH ME!" Emmett moved forward and tried to get around me to Edward.

"EMMETT STOP!" I screamed.

"I'm leaving, okay? Just let me get my stuff and I'll leave…" Edward said. Emmett and I both froze when we heard him speak. I managed to compose myself enough to say something, Emmett on the other hand was still in shock.

"Edward you don't have to leave." I told him in a calm voice.

"It's okay Bella, I need to get home anyway." Something hit me then.

"Just wait a second, I'll get my keys and give you a ride." I started to walk away but Edward stopped me.

"No. I'll just walk to the Library and have Alice pick me up. It'll work out better that way." He was right. If we wanted Alice to think he was really at the library, then she did need to pick him up there. I nodded in agreement. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay." He shot a worried glance in Emmett's direction, then walked out the door. I shifted my gaze to Emmett, who was still frozen beside me.

"Why aren't you on your way to Seattle?" I asked, angrily.

"He doesn't talk… I've never seen… Alice said… he doesn't talk." He said, still in a daze.

"Yeah and he may never talk again thanks to you! Now, why aren't you on your way to Seattle!" He finally seemed to snap out of it. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to intimidate me, _yeah right._

"I got 45 minutes out of town when I realized I forgot my duffel bag!" He snapped at me. If I weren't so angry at him, I would have laughed. That was classic Emmett right there. Leave it to him to forget something as important as clothes. "Now it's my turn to ask questions! What the hell was he doing here?"

"He's my lab partner! We were just studying! GOD!" Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Studying? Right!" he scoffed. "I saw you Bella! You were kissing him!"

"NO! You interrupted us BEFORE I could kiss him! Thanks a lot!" Emmett took a deep breath and relaxed a bit.

"Bella, that kid's trouble. You need to stay away from him." I groaned.

"Not you too! UGH!" I wanted to rip my hair out. I couldn't understand why no one could see the sweet, caring Edward I saw.

"Bella, you don't know what-" I interrupted him.

"YES! I do know Emmett! I've heard it all before! Every single rumor! And that's all they are is rumors! It makes me SICK how you all can believe those lies!" I was almost in tears now. I sat on the couch trying to calm myself. Emmett sat down next to me, speaking in a calm voice now.

"You say all of it's lies, does that mean Edward told you what really happened?"

"Well, no… He doesn't talk about that." Emmett shook his head and closed his eyes.

"I'm sure that not everything people say about him is true. On the other hand though, I don't believe it's all lies. The truth is in there somewhere and I don't trust him." I sighed. I knew Emmett was just trying to protect me and I didn't feel like arguing with him anymore.

"Look Emmett. I know Edward better than anyone else right now. I've seen him come out of his shell and be a completely normal person. He's never given me a reason to fear him, but if he ever does, I promise I'll stay away from him. Okay?" Emmett looked doubtful. I knew he wanted me to just stay away from him completely, but that wasn't going to happen. "I'm not giving up on him." Emmett smiled at me then and pulled me in for a hug.

"You're such a good person Bella. I'm so lucky to have you as a sister." He placed a kiss on my head. "I'll be keeping an eye on you two though. I won't interfere, but just know that I'll be there if you're ever in trouble."

"Okay." I conceded, I knew it was pointless to fight him on that. He went to stand up but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the couch. "Wait. Um, look… Edward talks to me, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone else. Especially his family, not yet. I was actually really surprised he spoke up in front of you. So could you please not mention this to anyone? Not Rose or Jasper and especially not Alice…" He looked angry again at first, but then his features softened.

"Fine. But this means you owe me!" He stood up then and walked towards the door. "I'll call you when I get there Bells." He said as he opened the door.

"Uh… Emmett?" he turned to face me.

"Yeah?"

"Duffel bag."

* * *

**Thanksgiving dinner + sleepover with Alice is next. Will Edward make an appearance? Let me know what you think!**

**I pretty much have the next chapter planned out, I just need to write it. Which could take a while because I'm such a procrastinator! Hopefully though, it will be up this weekend!  
**

**Reviews are yummy.  
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	9. Hold Me

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.**

**AN: Okay, so I procrastinated a little bit. I apologize. This chapter was kind of hard to write, though! So many different paths for them to take! I'm glad I chose what I did though, hopefully you'll like it as much as I do. **

**ON A MORE IMPORTANT NOTE: I have constructed a partial playlist for this story. I decided to give every chapter a song. So, every time I post a new chapter, I'll put what song I chose for it in the authors note. I'll also add it to the playlist which can be found on my profile, or you can ask for it in a review. **

**The song for this chapter is 'Hold Me' by Weezer**

**ENJOY! **

* * *

"You're supposed to _fold_ the whip cream in! Not stir, FOLD!" Alice grabbed the spatula from me and demonstrated the correct way to stir - I mean _fold_ - everything together.

"Sorry Alice. I told you I was no good at this baking stuff." I said as she handed the spatula to me once more.

"Well lucky for you, there's no baking involved when making chocolate éclair. Now when you're done with the pudding mix, pour half of it over the graham crackers in that pan." She pointed to the pan sitting in front of us on the counter top. "Then you do another layer of crackers, the rest of the pudding, one final cracker layer and the chocolate icing I'm making gets spread on top." It sounded easy enough I guess. Knowing me though, I'd probably mess it up. I was pretty good at cooking, but when it came to baking, or any kind of desert making… I usually failed.

After we successfully finished the éclair, we put it in the fridge to chill and headed up to Alice's room to change. I peeked in the direction of Edwards room when we reached the top of the stairs. I hadn't seen or heard from him since I'd been here. I was anxious to see if he was okay after what happened yesterday with Emmett… and what happened before Emmett.

It was all I could think about for the past 24 hours. The way his hair felt in between my fingers, his cool fingers on my skin, our noses just barely touching, his sweet breath caressing my face…

"BELLA!" I snapped out of my daydream, nearly falling off the bed as Alice yelled my name.

"GEEZ Alice! Are you trying to give me a heart-attack." I asked trying to catch my breath.

"I was just trying to get your attention! For the hundredth time today! Do you know how many times you've completely zoned out since you've been here?" _Yikes…_ I kinda hoped she wouldn't notice, but this _was_ Alice.

"Sorry…" I muttered. Alice let out a frustrated sigh as she sat down next to me.

"You know you can tell me if something's bothering you, right? You can tell me anything…" _Anything but this…_ I gave her a weak smile.

"I know Alice. I'm fine really, I was just thinking about Charlie. I'm sad that he has to work all day today. I just doesn't seem fair." Alice seemed to buy that, it was the truth after all. I did feel horrible about that.

"Well, before you leave tomorrow, we'll make him a big plate of leftovers you can take home to him, okay?" She smiled brightly.

"Thanks, he'll really like that."

We had an hour until dinner. Alice begged me to let her do my hair and make-up. She had already picked out my outfit before we left my house this morning, so I didn't fight her. Secretly I wanted to look my best in case, by some miracle, Edward decided to eat with us.

I tried my best not to get my hopes up, but when there was still no sign of him as we set the table that evening, I couldn't help but feel disappointed.

"Where's dad?" Alice asked as Esme set the mashed potatoes on the table.

"He went to go speak to Edward." Esme said, giving Alice a sad smile.

Just then, Carlisle entered the room with the turkey. He smiled at Esme, who seemed to be asking a silent question with her eyes. Carlisle dropped his gaze to the floor and shook his head quickly. The look of disappointment on Esme's face was heart-breaking. Carlisle set the turkey on the table, then put his arm around his wife and gave her a gentle squeeze. The exchange lasted only seconds, but it was long enough for me to catch on. Edward would not be joining us. Esme's smile returned as she cleared her throat.

"I'll just get the stuffing out of the oven and then we'll be ready!" She said enthusiastically, trying to mask her sadness. Alice and I took our seats, while Carlisle filled his and Esme's glasses with wine and mine and Alice's with sparkling grape juice. I let my eyes wander to the place setting across from mine that Alice had set, just in case.

"I'm so glad you could join us today Bella!" Carlisle said as Esme reentered, setting the stuffing on the table. "You don't know how thankful we are that Alice has a friend as wonderful as you." I blushed at his words.

"Thank you so much for having me." I replied shyly.

"You're welcome here any time, Bella. We hope you know that." Esme added. I smiled at her and nodded, my face was fifty shades of red by this point. Esme's eyes shifted from mine then and I watched as her smile grew into one of pure joy. We all turned at once to see what had caught her eye. I had to quickly stifle my own joy when I saw Edward standing in the doorway, messy hair, hands in his pockets, staring at the floor.

"Take a seat, Edward." Carlisle said, cheerfully yet calm. Trying not to scare him away. Never moving his eyes from the floor, Edward shuffled over to the seat across from me. "Well, now that we're all here, lets say grace." Everyone quickly bowed there heads, including me. I'm not really a religious person, but I respected other peoples beliefs. After a few seconds though the temptation was too much. I raised my head a tiny bit and opened my eyes which immediately locked with his beautiful green ones. I couldn't contain my smile now and neither could he. We smiled at each other for a few seconds before Edward glanced at the seat next to me. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown and his eyes dropped to the table. I looked next to me to find Alice staring wide-eyed at Edward. She shifted her gaze to me as Carlisle finished up the prayer. "Amen."

"Amen" we all replied.

We quickly fell into conversation as we devoured the delicious meal in front of us. I had never been a huge fan of 'Thanksgiving foods', but apparently this was because I'd never had Esme's. The turkey was done to perfection, the stuffing was seasoned just right, the mashed potatoes were fluffy and delicious and I even had the courage to try the dumplings, which were now my new favorite food.

Desert was just as good and I have to say, I was pretty proud of myself for being partly responsible for the éclair. Carlisle and Esme complimented Alice and I on doing such a good job. Even Edward gave me the quickest smile as he finished the last bite of his.

Carlisle insisted on doing the dishes, since he hadn't done any cooking. We helped him clear the table though and when I entered the dining room again, to grab a few more plates, Edward was gone. I wondered if that was the only time I'd see him while I was here.

After the dishes were done we went into the living room and played a game of _Scene It_. Alice and I were on a team together and surprisingly enough, we won. We all just relaxed in front of the T.V. for the rest of the evening, watching cheesy holiday specials. Around 10 o'clock, we put in a movie and Carlisle and Esme headed off to bed. WHY Alice chose to watch 'The Ring' on Thanksgiving, I'll never know. I knew, as I clung to her on the couch and hid my face behind her shoulder, that I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Alice just laughed at me and told me to "grow a pair". I scowled at her before hiding my face again. We finally headed up to bed around midnight, exhausted from the long day.

"I can't believe you made me watch that Alice!" I said as we climbed into her giant bed. "You do realize I won't be getting any sleep tonight, right?"

"Oh, don't be such a baby Bella. It wasn't even that scary." We laid there quietly for a few minutes before Alice spoke again. "I really did mean what I said earlier Bella. You can talk to me about anything." I knew she was going to bring this up. I couldn't blame her though, after all, she did see Edward smile for the first time in years tonight. As much as I wanted to talk to her about it though, I knew I couldn't. Not yet.

"I know Alice. I just-"

"No, wait Bella. Let me finish." She interrupted. "You can tell me anything and I always want you to be honest with me, but… I would never want you to betray someone else's confidence just to appease my curiosity. I respect and trust you enough to know that there's a reason you're not telling me everything. What I'm saying is, don't feel guilty about keeping things from me. I know in time everything will be explained. Just know that I'm here whenever you're ready to talk…" she hesitated for a moment before quickly adding "and tell him that too."

"Thank you, Alice. You're the best friend I've ever had." I told her truthfully.

"Of course I am." she responded. "Now lets get some sleep."

* * *

I glanced at the clock, 2:30 am. Alice had fallen asleep almost immediately after our talk. I wasn't so lucky. My mind raced with the events of the past two days. The almost kiss with Edward, Emmett walking in on us, Edward speaking to Emmett, Alice's knowing smiles and comments, Edward sitting across from me at the table. Plus the added terror I felt every five minutes when I swear I saw something in the room move. _No more scary movies before bed… EVER._

Alice shifted again next to me, she was a restless sleeper. With one more tug she now had the entire blanket wrapped around her, leaving me shivering in my pajama shorts and matching tank top. I tried to get some of the blanket back from her, but it was no use. She had a death grip on that thing. I got out of bed and quietly made my way to the door. I had every intention of going straight to the linen closet, but when I saw that his door was cracked and the light was on, I couldn't stop my feet from walking to his room.

I knocked softly on the door as I stuck my head inside. I was surprised to find the room empty. Against my better judgment, I stepped inside. The first thing I noticed was the key bored in the corner. I walked up to it as I remembered the first time I'd seen him, sitting here playing one of my favorite songs. I walked over to his nightstand next, he had an odd assortment of things next to his bed. A pink Rosary, a bottle of Nyquil, a worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_, an orange bottle of prescription pills and a framed photograph of a cute little corgi. Edwards favorite kind of dog. I picked the picture up, to get a better look and sat on the edge of the bed.

"That's Alex." I started at the sound of his voice and whipped my head around to find him standing in the doorway. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt that showed off his muscular chest and a pair of blue flannel pajama pants. _No one should look that sexy in pajamas,_ I thought to myself. He stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him and walked to the other side of the bed, sitting with his back against the headboard. He reached out for the picture in my hands and I gave it to him. "I got him for my 13th birthday."

"What happened to him?" I asked cautiously, praying the question wouldn't upset him. It did. His expression turned hard as he handed the picture back to me. He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"He died." was the only answer I got. I decided to push my luck and ask another question.

"How?" I could feel his body tense next to me. He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

"He got hit by a car about a week after that picture was taken." His voice trembled a little and he was visibly shaken by the conversation. I had never owned a dog, even though I'd always wanted to. Phil was allergic though, so we couldn't get one. I knew I'd be upset if my dog died… but Edward almost seemed traumatized by it. There had to be more to the story, but I decided not to push for details tonight. I placed the picture back on the nightstand and grabbed the copy of _Wuthering Heights_.

"You never told me you liked this one." Edward looked at the book and smiled, grateful for the change of topic.

"That's because I don't." he chuckled at my confused expression. The book in my hands was falling apart, the cover was literally hanging by a thread. It was obvious he'd read it many, MANY, times. "I don't hate it either, though. I really don't know how I feel about it. That's why I keep reading it." I laughed and shook my head.

"You're an enigma, Edward Cullen. Just when I think I have you figured out…" I trailed off, laughing again. I set the book down and scooted up against the headboard.

"I could say the same about you, Bella Swan. People are usually so easy to read, but not you. You never do or say what I think you're going to. I never know what you're thinking." I hoped that made me as appealing to him as he was to me.

"All you have to do is ask. I'll always tell you what you want to know." I promised, hoping that by being honest with him, he'd be honest with me when the time came. His lips turned up into that breath taking smile.

"I want to know everything about you." I looked down, trying to hide my blush from him. Edward shifted closer to me and I felt his cool fingers brush the hair out of my face and tuck it behind my ear. I looked into his eyes, only inches away from me now. "I love it when you blush." He said as he gently caressed my cheek. Of course this only made me blush harder, to my utter embarrassment. I looked down again, trying to will away the redness in my cheeks. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he whispered. His words shocked me. His hand went under my chin, forcing me to face him again. He was even closer than before. His sincere eyes locked with mine as he closed the small distance between us.

I had only kissed one other boy in my lifetime and it wasn't a good memory. In fact, I wanted to vomit every time I thought about it. Nervous couldn't begin to describe the way I felt right before Edwards lips touched mine. But when they did, any doubts or worries I had were gone. The kiss started out slow and sweet, it was everything a first kiss should be. Soon though, our pent up emotions got the better of us. I wound my arms around his neck as his hands made their way to my waist. I started to run my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, gently tugging on it. This action resulted in a soft moan from Edward, which I quickly decided was the sexiest noise I'd ever heard. His grip on my waste tightened as he tried to pull me closer. I happily obliged, never breaking our kiss as I straddled his lap.

I felt his tongue glide across my lower lip, asking for entrance. I opened my mouth hesitantly to let him in. I felt him gently message my tongue with his own. It was my turn to moan now. Apparently he liked that sound as much as I did. He wrapped his arms completely around me, pulling me as close to him as possible. When he did this, I was able to feel exactly how much he was _enjoying_ this. My ego inflated a bit when I realized I could have this effect on him. Taking a bold step, I ground my hips into his. This time, we both moaned. Edward broke off the kiss then, but never loosened his tight hold on me.

"Bella," he panted. "If we don't stop now, I'm not sure I'll be able to." I thought about it for a minute while I caught my breath. I didn't want to stop, not at all. But this wasn't the time or the place. Especially with Alice right across the hall.

"You're right." I said, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "We should stop." I climbed off of him. "I need to get back to Alice's room anyway." Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me with him as he laid down on the bed.

"Please don't leave." he begged, wrapping his arm around me and placing kisses all over my face and neck.

"Edward, what is Alice gonna think when she wakes up and I'm not there?" I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want to lie to Alice any more than I already was. Edward paused for a moment before answering.

"It's a holiday, she'll want to sleep late. You can get back in there before she ever realizes you're gone." He resumed his previous actions. He did have a point and he was making it very difficult to say no to him. If Alice did wake up early though…

"I don't know Edward. What if she doesn't sleep in? What if she wakes up right now to go to the bathroom or something?" Edward dropped his head into the crook of my neck and sighed.

"Please Bella?" He mumbled against my skin. "Just a little bit longer. I just want to hold you." He squeezed me tighter, trying to prove his point. _Who could say no to that?_

"Okay." I felt him smile against my shoulder before he brought his lips up to kiss mine. He pulled the blankets up around us and I snuggled into his chest. I was so warm and comfortable, I didn't think twice about closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The first thing I was aware of when I woke up was the strong arm around my waist and warm body behind me. I smiled when I realized who it was and remembered what happened last night. Keeping my eyes closed and never wanting this to end, I entwined our fingers giving his hand a light squeeze. He responded by pulling me impossibly closer and placing light kisses up my neck, stopping right behind my ear.

"Good morning." he whispered, sending shivers down my spine. I finally opened my eyes and was a little surprised at how bright it was in the room. That's when it hit me. _Alice!_ I shot up, frantically searching for the clock. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"What time is it!?" Edwards reaction was similar to mine when he realized how light it was outside. He quickly shot out of the bed and ran over to his dresser, getting his phone off the top. He ran his hand through his hair before meeting my worried gaze.

"It's 1 pm…"

"Crap!" I got out of bed and hurried towards the door. "I have to go find Alice." I turned the knob only to be stopped. Edwards hand went to the door preventing me from opening it.

"Wait." I did what he said when I saw the sadness in his eyes. He looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have made you stay. And… I'm sorry if I went too far last night, if I made you uncomfortable." I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Edward, I _chose_ to stay. I wanted too. You didn't make me do anything." I looked into his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "I don't regret anything that happened last night." He smiled at me then and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Me either." He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. We stayed wrapped up in each other for a few more minutes before I left the room. I tiptoed across the hall to Alice's room, praying that by some miracle she was still asleep.

I opened her door and stepped inside. She wasn't there, so I grabbed my bag and hurried to the bathroom. After I changed and washed up I headed back to Alice's room. This time when I opened the door she was there, sitting on the edge of her bed, arms and legs crossed.

"Well, well ,well. Good afternoon Bella." She waggled her eyebrows and gave me a mischievous grin. _At least she's not angry._

"I'm sorry Alice. I… I just… I'm sorry." I really couldn't say anything else. I hoped that was good enough.

"It's okay Bella, really. When I woke up this morning and saw you weren't here, his room was the first place I looked. I knew you were there. Anyway, it all seemed pretty innocent… it was wasn't it?" She gave me a stern look.

"Of course! I swear we didn't do anything." I stopped for a moment, wondering how true that statement was. Would she considered a steamy make-out session 'anything'. "Well, I mean we did something, but not the something you're thinking of." Alice put a hand up to stop me.

"I don't really want to hear about you making out with my cousin, okay?" I nodded my head and looked to the floor. Alice stood up and put her arms around me.

"I'm so glad he has you, Bella. Just don't make ditching me at sleepovers a regular habit, alright?" I hugged her back, thanking my lucky stars she was so understanding.

"Thanks for being patient with me. He's so close Alice, I know he is. He's opening up more and more. I know he'll be ready to talk soon." _At least I hope he will.

* * *

_**So... KISS!?! Did you like? Let me know! I'm kinda sad this chapters over... This means probably one happy chapter left before we get into the sadness : (**

**DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE PLAYLIST!**


	10. Can't Wait

**I sincerely apologize for the ridiculously long time this chapter took. Family drama can sure take a toll on your ability to write, let me tall you! Hopefully the wait will never be this long again. I really am sorry! **

**HAPPIER TOPIC TIME! So I was thinking of writing a lemon here soon... this story is rated 'M' for a reason... ; ) I'll make my decision based on your feedback. So let me know!**

**ONE MORE STUPID THING! Check out the playlist for this story on my profile. There's a link to a site where you can listen to the playlist as well. The song for this chapter is 'Brighter Than Sunshine' by Aqualung. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. Just like messing with it : D**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving and I was currently setting the dining room table. I was dreading tonight. Charlie's best friend, Billy Black and his son Jacob were coming over for dinner. I don't remember much about them, but I remember Jacob's relentless teasing and name-calling. If he was half as annoying now as he was back then, tonight would be… difficult.

My phone buzzed in my pocket for the 11th time today. I pulled it out to read the message.

_-14 more hours until I see your beautiful face again. I don't know if I can wait… I miss you._

Instantly my mood lifted. That's exactly what I needed to get me trough tonight. A reminder that the sooner it was over, the sooner I'd see Edward. Although we'd been texting frequently since Friday, we hadn't talked about anything that happened that night.

So many questions were running through my head. _Was Edward my boyfriend? If yes, was this a secret too? Did he know how much Alice knew? Would I still only see him for two hours during school everyday?_ All of these questions needed answers, but I couldn't bring myself to ask them through the fine art of text messaging. I wanted to talk to him in person.

The knock at the door brought me back to the task at hand. I picked up the pace a little when I heard the voices in the living room. I had just set down the last knife when I heard a deep voice from behind me.

"Hey Bella, remember me?" I whirled at the sound and came face to face with a tall dark-skinned boy. He had long black hair that was pulled into a pony tail and a round baby face with pink cheeks and dark brown eyes. His soft shy smile instantly put me at ease.

"Yeah, Jacob right?" I asked offering my hand. His grin widened a bit as he nodded and shook it. "It's nice to see you again." I said politely.

"Really? I thought you'd be dreading this… what with all the hair pulling and name calling I inflicted upon you when we were kids." He smiled sheepishly, obviously embarrassed by our past.

"Don't worry about it. Just don't do it again!" I said with a wink. He laughed with me, putting two fingers in the air.

"Scouts honor!" he promised.

Jacob and I really hit it off after that. We kept up conversation throughout dinner, without any awkward silences or dull moments. He was so easy to get along with, I had a hard time believing this was the same boy I had met as a child. After dinner he even helped me wash all the dishes while Charlie and Billy had a beer in the living room. He told me about a car that he was pretty much building from scratch and told me I needed to come out to the Reservation sometime soon to see it. I promised him that I would and the smile on his face when I did was priceless. We made plans to hang out next weekend before they left for the evening. To say I was relieved dinner had gone so well was an understatement.

"So you and Jake seemed pretty friendly tonight." Charlie said as he sat down in his recliner facing the TV.

"He's a nice guy. I think we'll be good friends." I told him honestly. Charlie nodded slowly. He wanted to say something else, I could tell, but he kept his mouth shut. I sat on the couch watching, but not paying attention to whatever was on the screen, when my phone buzzed again.

_-How did dinner go? Did you survive the evening with vile Jacob?_

I chuckled softly. I had mentioned the dinner and my previous feelings toward Jacob earlier. I felt Charlie's eyes on me as I typed a response.

_**-Actually, it went great! Jacob has grown up a lot. I think we're gonna be good friends, oddly enough : )**_

_**Where are we in the countdown now? 11 hours? **_

"Who's that you've been texting all day, Bells?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Oh, um… just a friend from school. My lab partner. We have a project due tomorrow." I didn't mention any names. Like the rest of the town, Charlie was not keen on Edward.

"Edward Cullen?" Charlie asked in a flat emotionless voice. I jumped at the sound of his name and looked over to where Charlie sat.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know?" Charlie's face remained blank as he responded.

"Mr. Molina is a good friend of mine. He told me you requested Edward as a partner… over Mike Newton. I know the Newton's, Bella. They're a real nice family. I'm sure you heard what Cullen did to poor Mike when he first moved here." I had forgotten about Molina being friends with Charlie. But I was truly surprised that they discussed who I was lab partners with when they went out for a beer. Didn't they have anything better to talk about?

"Yes, I've heard about that. And I'm sure you heard what _poor Mike_ and Tyler did to Edward for a week after that!" I was quickly losing my temper. Why couldn't ANYONE see things the way I did? "Mike's not as innocent as you think dad! He harassed me on my first day of school which is why I requested a new partner! Edward has been nicer to me than anyone in that God-forsaken place! I think everyone in this town should get their facts straight before they start pointing fingers and passing judgment!" Charlie was shocked by my outburst. So was I. We just stared at each other for a few minutes. Right when Charlie was about to say something else, the front door flew open and Emmett came bounding through it.

"Hola mi familia!" He said as he threw his duffle bag on the floor and crashed on the couch next to me, totally unaware of the tense situation between our father and myself.

"How was your weekend Emmett?" Charlie asked, eyes back on the TV.

"Pretty boring. Grandpa Earl's teeth fell out during Thanksgiving dinner. That was pretty awesome. Besides that, it was uneventful." Charlie chuckled and I rolled my eyes. "What about you shorty? How was your Thanksgiving?" Emmett asked me.

"Even more uneventful than yours, big brother." I gave him a smile as I stood from the couch. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning." I walked out of the room, without another glance in Charlie's direction.

* * *

"_Dad, please let me through." I begged. Charlie was standing in the front door, blocking my way out. My way to Edward. I was grabbed forcefully from behind and spun around. I came face to face with Mike Newton. _

"_Come on, Bella. Your dad told you to stay away from him. So just stay in here with me okay?" I successfully pushed him to the floor, before turning back around and running through the now clear doorway. Edward was standing in my front yard, smiling brightly, his arms open wide waiting for me to run into them. _

_Everything around me was moving so fast, but I was stuck in slow motion. It took all of my strength to make it across the front yard. Just as I was about to reach him, Charlie appeared out of nowhere, pulling Edwards hands behind his back and cuffing him. I screamed as he struggled against my father. Our eyes met and he opened his mouth to speak to me, but all that came out was a loud buzzing sound._

"_Edward! I can't hear you! What did you say?" He spoke again, but like before it was only the loud buzzing that I now felt. Charlie threw him into the back of the cruiser and slammed the door. He tried one last time, screaming from behind the glass window. I heard the buzz again and this time felt it in my hand. I looked down to see my phone there. 'Incoming Call: Edward' it read. _That's when I woke up.

I flipped open my phone and mumbled a groggy 'Hello' into the speaker.

"Bella?" His angelic voice asked. I sat up, waking a bit more.

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He chuckled before answering.

"Nothings wrong, sorry I… I just couldn't wait any longer." His words confused my still half asleep brain. _Wait for what?_

"What are you talking about?" I asked with a yawn.

"Promise you won't get mad at me?" Now I was really confused.

"Edward, why would I be mad at you? What's going on?" he took a deep breath and let it out into the receiver.

"I'm in your backyard…"

* * *

**EPOV**

_**-Actually, it went great! Jacob has grown up a lot. I think we're gonna be good friends, oddly enough : )**_

_**Where are we in the countdown now? 11 hours? **_

And just like that he was a threat. Never had I given him a second thought until now. 'Friends'. Bella and I were 'Friends'. Then I kissed her. Now I have no clue what we are. What if this Jacob character kisses her? Would she let him? Would she like it? Does she like him? More than me? Did she ever like me? She wouldn't have kissed me if she didn't like me. Right?

Who am I kidding? Of course she doesn't like me. Not like that anyway. Not as much as I like her. Why would she kiss me though, if she didn't like me? She probably really regrets the whole night, even if she said she didn't. Or maybe she doesn't. Maybe she's looking at this in a completely different way. Like a friends with benefits type of deal. If that is what she wants… am I okay with that?

Ha. Am I okay with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen wanting to fool around with me? Stupid question. I'll give her whatever she wants, but I'll always want more. I'll always want a real relationship with her.

The question here isn't what I want, it's what Bella wants. That's what I need to find out. Unfortunately, school was still 10 ½ hours away. And I'd still have to wait until Biology before we could actually communicate. Even then, all we did was pass notes. This wasn't really something that should be discussed on paper.

So when and where do we talk about this? As if on cue, the answer knocked on my door.

"Hey Edward," Alice greeted as I opened the door, I just stared passed her and waited patiently for her to continue. Acting like a jerk to my family was definitely the hardest part of all this. But it made not speaking to them easier when they didn't want to talk to me in the first place. "I just wanted you to know that I'm going shopping with Rose in Port Angeles tomorrow, right after school. We're eating dinner up there as well and might even catch a movie if there's anything good playing." My interest in what she was saying suddenly peeked. Esme was in Seattle until Tuesday night, Carlisle would be at the hospital well past midnight tomorrow and now Alice would be gone all of the afternoon.

"I won't be home til' late, so you'll have the house all to yourself." She gave me a smug smile as she turned to leave. She knew exactly what I was planning, no doubt. She stopped in front of her door and faced me once more. "Rose is driving us up there, so you'll have to drive the Volvo home. Is that okay with you?" I quickly nodded. Sure, I wasn't technically allowed to drive by myself, but I've never been caught… yet. Besides, I'm an excellent driver.

I spent the next few hours trying not to think about Bella and the pending fate of our 'relationship'. I caught up on all of the homework I had been putting off since Monday. It took all of one hour. Then I picked up _Wuthering Heights _again, but I kept running into lines Bella had been quoting to me over the last couple of days, in an attempt to convince me that it was a good book. So I tried working on my newest composition, but it's muse was exactly who I wasn't thinking about. Needless to say, I gave up on it quickly.

When midnight came around, I caved. It was too much, laying in this bed where she had been laying with me only a few days ago. I could almost smell her, strawberries and freesia. Her skin was so soft. Her brown wavy hair was like silk between my fingers. And her _lips_… her lips were heaven. She slept so peacefully in my arms. I just watched her for hours, memorizing every detail. I nearly burst with joy when she started murmuring my name in her sleep. And the best part was, if only for that moment, I felt normal. Like a real teenage boy falling in love for the first time. I didn't feel like a monster. I didn't feel empty. I didn't feel ashamed. I felt real. I felt alive. I felt… _happy_.

Before I could stop and think twice about what I was doing, I was sneaking out the front door and sprinting towards the Volvo. Biology was just too far away. I had to see her. I had to tell her how she made me feel. The small town passed by me in a blur as I sped towards her house, completely unsure of what I was going to say and completely okay with it. I turned down her street and smiled as her rusty old truck came into view.

I parked down the street and jogged toward her house. When I reached her front yard, I froze. _What the hell am I doing here?_ What kind of person shows up at a girls house in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain? _A psycho stalker…_ I started pacing in her driveway, the cold rain stinging my cheeks. I tried to figure out what my next move should be. _Just get back in the car and drive home. You can talk to her tomorrow. You have all day, remember? _The logical part of me was making a lot of sense, but I couldn't ignore my less logical side. The side of me that knew how close Bella was. I could almost feel a magnetic pull coming from the house. _What if she's busy tomorrow, you might not get another chance like this! She's right here, go to her!_ I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed her number. If she answered, I'd tell her I was here. If not… I'd figure that out later.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

I felt my body tense. She wasn't going to answer. It's one o'clock in the morning and I'm an insane stalker standing in the rain. Why was I confessing my love for her again? It's not like she's going to return my feelings. I need to get out of here, before I make a fool of myself.

Six rings.

_Do phones ring more than six times?_

Seven rings.

_Yep._

I pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to hang up and drive home, but a quiet voice coming from the receiver stopped me. I quickly put the phone back to my ear.

"Bella?" Did she really answer?

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Oh shit... What do I say? I chuckled nervously before responding.

"Nothings wrong, sorry I… I just couldn't wait any longer."

"What are you talking about?" She yawned out. I must have woken her up. She was probably going to be pissed. I hated when people woke me up for no good reason. Well, it was a good reason to me… but who knows how she'll take it.

"Promise you won't get mad at me?" I nearly begged as I walked up her driveway and into the backyard.

"Edward, why would I be mad at you? What's going on?" I took a shaky breath and held it for a moment.

"I'm in your backyard…" I held my breath waiting for a reply. I was on the verge of passing out when her calm voice helped me find my breath again.

"I'll be right down." She stated. The line went dead and I shoved the phone back in my pocket. I started pacing again, running my fingers trough my hair over and over. I heard the lock on the back door turn and stopped in my tracks. It opened slowly and I came face to face with the girl I was falling in love with. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her without ever breaking eye contact. We stood a few feet apart, just staring at one another.

I'm not sure who took the first step and it doesn't matter. Because suddenly we were in each others arms and all of the doubt I had just seconds earlier was gone. This was right. This was where I belonged. This was home. Her arms wrapped around my neck, mine around her waist, just holding each other.

"I love you, Bella."

I felt her body tense up and then immediately relax. She pulled back slightly to look me in the eye. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she searched my face for something. Whatever she found there must have pleased her, because a heart stopping smile spread across her face as she placed her palms on either side of mine.

"I love you too, Edward." And then we were both grinning like idiots. A relieved laugh escaped me as I rested my forehead on hers. We were both thoroughly soaked now as sheets of rain poured from the sky, but I hardly noticed. I had my love in my arms and she loved me too. There was nothing better than this.

"I'm going to kiss you now." I stated. She simply smiled and nodded as she wrapped her arms around my neck once again and pulled me closer. Our lips met in a slow passionate kiss. I poured all of my love into this kiss and I could feel her doing the same. I sucked her bottom lip in between mine and let my tongue run across it. She responded immediately, opening her mouth and allowing my explorations. Our tongues tangled gently and lovingly, our bodies seeming to melt into one. We finally broke apart, both needing the oxygen.

"I need to get back inside, Emmett always wakes up in the middle of the night to make a snack." I buried my head in the crook of her neck and shook my head.

"I don't want to let go of you. Can't we just stay like this forever?" I held her tighter and turned my head to lay a trail of lazy kisses up her neck and down her jaw, then back again. She squeezed me tighter and sighed.

"I wish we could, but really, you have to go." She startled me by pulling away abruptly and giving me a stern look. "How did you get here anyway?" I grinned and shrugged my shoulders.

"I drove of course." I answered simply, like it was no big deal. Her eyes widened, making me chuckle.

"Edward, you don't have a license…"

"No, but I have a learners permit." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What am I gonna do with you?" she asked. I pulled her in for another searing kiss, willing to do anything to keep her in my arms. I broke off the kiss and looked into her eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Just then a light from an upstairs window came on, our heads turned to look up at the same time. We looked back at one another and she placed one more kiss on my lips.

"Go. I'll see you tomorrow." She said before scurrying back inside. "Goodnight" she whispered as she closed the door.

I just stood there for a few minutes, basking in this feeling. Love. I was in love with Bella Swan. And the part that amazed me the most, she was in love with me too.

* * *

**Reviews are great! I like'm a lot! **


	11. Update

**Hey guys! **

**Sorry for the authors note fake out. I know how annoying they are. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive and still plan on finishing this story and my others! 'Hands Clean' has about 3-5 chapters left and then I will put most of my focus on 'True Perfection'. I'll work on 'The Coach' here and there through out 'True Perfection'. I'm 99% sure that I will have the new chapter of 'Hands Clean' up this tuesday or wednesday. **

**Also! 'Hands Clean' has been nominated for The Indies Twific Awards! In the _Most Romantic Moment WIP _category! So if you're a fan, please take a second to vote for my story! The first round of voting starts on July 8th (this wednesday). You can find all the info here: **

**http :// theindietwificawards (dot) com  
(remove all spaces, replace (dot) with . )**

**Thanks in advance for anyone who votes! The new chapter will be up soon!  
**


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